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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534608">Infinity (Queen AU)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWhoAsked/pseuds/TheGirlWhoAsked'>TheGirlWhoAsked</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Queen (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1970s Era Roger Taylor (Queen), 1980s, Baby, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Friendship, No Romance, No Smut, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on Tumblr, Other, Queen (Band) References, Queen AU, Really just fluff, Renamed Characters, Roger Taylor (Queen) Needs a Hug, Roger Taylor (Queen) daughter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:08:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWhoAsked/pseuds/TheGirlWhoAsked</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>1975: Four boys united by their shared love of rock'n'roll decided to form a band after listening to the Greatesst Album by The greatest Band ever; Queen. As the B-Side of A night in the opera takes it's last spin, they make it their life-long aspiration to follow their footsteps into the world of music. </p>
<p>Cut to 11 years later, the 19 year old drummer of said band, Rowan Queen, meets a little person who will turn everyone's lives upside down.</p>
<p>AKA: Imagine an alternate version of Roger Taylor as a teen single dad struggling to breakthrough with his three bandmates while cradling a baby in his other hand.</p>
<p>Take a peak inside if you want all of this to make sense. It will. You will surely enjoy the ride.<br/>Or you can always scroll down to the next Maylor fic below.<br/>I'm just trying to think outside the box. xx</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Deacon &amp; Brian May &amp; Freddie Mercury &amp; Roger Taylor, Roger Taylor (Queen) &amp; Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'm here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Before I start the ramble, I'm gonna introduce who's who:<br/>Rowan Queen: Roger Taylor.<br/>Gina Queeen: Winfred Taylor<br/>Rick Lincoln: John Richard Deacon ;)<br/>Terry Garrett: Brian May<br/>Len Mars: Freddie Mercury.</p>
<p>Basically, they're all Queen's dopplegangers, with my spin on them. I didn't want to write them exactly as Queen because I needed to have the freedom to write them in the story instead of writing the story around them. Does it make sense? Anyway, stick with me, it's a bit different, but writing this has kept me sane through my darkest times.</p>
<p>So, I hope you like this and, please, make your presence known. Pressing Kudos will just rob half a secon of a reader's time, but make writer's' whole day.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gina Marie Queen (neé Thomas) had always been ahead of her time. She was never a fearful woman. Not for men anyway. She hadn’t had a father -that alcoholic piece of shit was nothing close to that.-</p>
<p>And for all she knew, she hadn’t had a husband either -another waste of space-. She had finally kicked him out hers and her son’s life after 10 years of hell when that drunk asshole’s rehearsal fits had made her lose the daughter she had been longing for since she could remember.</p>
<p>He could throw plates at her, and she’d fight back burning his beloved match tapes. Or intoxicate his food. Those were her favorite paybacks.</p>
<p>He could verbally abuse their son, and wake up with pink hair the next day. (Rowan’s idea when he was 10)</p>
<p>But the night he had pushed her and she had broken waters at month number 5, that was it.</p>
<p>It should have ended earlier, she knew. Her unborn daughter shouldn’t have had to suffer the consequences for Gina to finally throw his shit out the window and soak them in the Jack Daniels bottle he hid under his side of the bed and light them with the lighter he’d switch his bloody cigars with.</p>
<p>But unfortunately that’s what it had taken.</p>
<p>And she would have strangled him in his sleep if she had known Rowan would be taken care of while in jail. But she wasn’t. And someone had to think of the rebellious trouble maker too.</p>
<p>And when her son -yes, she decided that rebellious trouble maker was, more or less, worthy of the title despite being the spitting image of the his father- became a father, Gina feared her granddaughter would have the same fate. Row had it in his genes and , as much she had tried to raise him as best as she was capable of, that fear never faded.</p>
<p>So when the phone rang</p>
<p>“Rowan Queen?”</p>
<p>“"I’m his mother”<br/>
“I’m from the Hospital’s maternity aisle. We call to inform you that his daughter’s mom has disappeared after giving birth…”<br/>
That was all she needed to hear before dropping the phone and leaving it hanging upside down<br/>
“ROWAN EUGENE QUEEN! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE THIS INSTANT!”<br/>
“I’ve got rehearsals with the band…”<br/>
“YOU GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT, YOU IDIOT??!”<br/>
“Me? No!”<br/>
“WELL THINK AGAIN!”<br/>
“Mum…”<br/>
“Just got a call from hospital saying your daughter’s mother has disappeared after birth!!! And they called us!”</p>
<p>He was high school’s infamous Playboy. Blonde, Blue Big eyes, and a charming smile. And on top of that, one of the four members of a wannabe rock band. The Hot Drummer, they call him .Gina knew. She didn’t need to hear about his reputation to know the likelihood of him getting someone pregnant was high. But she had pictured it differently.<br/>
She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled, but he didn’t move. He kept staring at nowhere.</p>
<p>“Rowan!!!”<br/>
No reaction.<br/>
She had to slap his cheek in order to get him out his shock.<br/>
“What do you want?!”<br/>
“We’re going to hospital, right now!”<br/>
“What? Why?”<br/>
“To work this shit out!!”<br/>
“But we have to rehearse!”<br/>
“Fuck that shit Rowan! They’ve just told us you got someone pregnant and she run off! That’s the most important thing right now so get in that car this instant!!”</p>
<p>He did as told. It was a tense car ride. And Gina remembered Elsa. Her baby girl. And how for her father’s fault she wasn’t there.<br/>
“So what now?” Row asked, breaking the dead silence.<br/>
“We’re putting her up for adoption, unless they can contact the mother, although I don’t think she should have a say. But if you’re the so called father and your name is in the file, we can leave your part signed and then go home.”<br/>
“Oh”<br/>
Gina thought she caught a hint of disappointment in his voice.<br/>
It had to be her imagination. Disappointment over what? Missing the wonderful experience of being a teen dad? Ha.<br/>
He did look thoughtful. He hadn’t even turned on the radio.<br/>
Something was off.<br/>
But she figured he’d just want to get this whole thing over with, and that he’d sign her over to a better family. As anyone with minimum common sense would</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p>Then, as they waited for the application, he asked if he could see her.<br/>
Her answer was immediate “No.”<br/>
“Why?”<br/>
“How come Why? Why on Earth would you want to see her?”<br/>
“Well I’m here. You’ve been freaking out , and freaking me out as well. Might as well see who this fuss is about.”<br/>
“A baby. That’s it. You don’t need to see one. They all look the same. Small, Wrinkly, like a large prune. There you have it”<br/>
“Well I wanna see my… That small wrinkled prune”</p>
<p>Damn. He had said <i>mine<i>. He already considered her his.<br/>
Gina changed her strategy.<br/>
“Your name is on the certificate, right. But that means nothing”<br/>
“Why would it be there otherwise?”“<br/>
"A mistake. Or maybe the mother just wants to tangle you up.”<br/>
“The mother’s gone”<br/>
“Yes. For now. It’s called Baby Blues, and when it’s gone She’ll have you exactly where she wants to. Because I’m guessing she won’t be no straight A student either, and you’ll have to sustain them both -if you ever make it to college- and you’ll end up getting married, and maybe you don’t even love her, but divorce is even more tedious than getting married. That’s why I’ve Never done it. So you’ll both be stuck as cashiers in whatever low cost store, and then she’ll confess that you were her high school crush but that the kid is actually her ex boyfriend’s and then you’ll throw a fit, and you’ll get in a fight and you’ll end up grabbing whatever is on your reach to hit whoever’s on your reach….”<br/>
“Wait mom. I just… I just wanna see her.” Row cut her off “ Whoever the fuck she may actually be, I’m the one who’s here. And I ain’t signing anything without knowing who I’m making decisions for. That’s all. I just want to see. I don’t even want to touch her or whatever. Just knowing who’s the reason I had to turn the boys down today. Then I’ll sign the paper and we’ll go home.”<br/>
“She’s in the NICU anyway. Doubt they’ll let you in”<br/>
“What’s NICU?” Gina caught genuine concern in his voice.<br/>
“Nothing bad.” She reassured.<br/>
They handed the files, and she took them “I’ll fill them”<br/>
She got through the first page, and he was gone.<br/>
<i>Shit.<i> That stubborn bastard.<br/>
She didn’t want him to be a father. He was 19 for fucks sake. Had never had one of his own. He had only moved out a couple months ago. Nothing lasted much for him. Wether it was a girlfriend, a job, clothes… His longest pet had reached one year alive. And he couldn’t go long without getting injured.<br/>
Not even his drum kit had survived the move, and was litterally patched up. She’d consider herself guilty of murder if she allowed a baby to be on that list. Not to mention the alternative was that she’d be the one, sooner or later, to take over. Because he was never patient and would stress too much -if he didn’t lose interest first- or get fed up and cause her shaken Baby syndrome. And just as she was too young to be a grandmother, she was too old to raise a second kid.<br/>
So she stormed inside the NICU aisle ready to get him out of there. And what she saw was quite breathtaking. The look in his eyes was priceless: such fondness and marvel… Only comparable to when he had first seen that red Ludwig drum set through the glass of the local music store.<br/>

<i>“I’ve never seen something so awesome in my life!” He had said.<br/>
They had never been able to afford it. He had tried to get a job after school, to save up everything. But it hadn’t been enough. And he’d go everyday to that street, and just stare at the shiny wonderful kit for hours, hands on the glass, knowing that the likelihood of ever owning it was almost non existent.<br/>
He ended up making acquaintance with the owner. They tried to bargain for it, but his lowest price was way too high for them. He did get to play it once tho, and it was an undescribable experience. Murray, the owner, let him give it a try out of pity when someone else bought it, as a farewell. And had never seen anything like it again.<br/> <i>
Now this baby was, technically, his -regardless of what biology could say- and he was about to give it away.<br/>
Gina did know on first hand it was, having been a volunteer on midwife assistance with her aunt. And 10/10 woman who swore to never want anything to do with their child changed their minds as soon as they laid eyes on them. Only those who really followed through -take it away, I don’t wanna see it- walked out there with empty arms.<br/>
Now Row was looking at that baby ad if she was a treasure, but that meant nothing in the long term. His father had done something similar to Elsa’s sonogram.<br/>


But she wasn’t gonna make that mistake again. She loved her son, but he really wasn’t good at anger management.<br/>
She couldn’t expose another innocent child to such danger.<br/>
“Rowan, come here now. You’ve seen her. Got what you wanted. Met her. Now let’s get this over with”<br/>
His hand was resting on the top of the incubators glass, even if he had unglued his eyes from the tiny being inside and nailed on her now, as if he had been staring at the sun for a long while and was now blinded.<br/>
“Why the hurry?”<br/>
Was she hearing correctly?<br/>
“How come <i> Why the hurry? <i> Because we both have things to do!”<br/>
“I’ve already cancelled the one plan I had…”<br/>
“Well I still have an errand to get done.”<br/>
He didn’t reply, eyes back on the child<br/>
“Rowan” she approached him, making sure not to look at the kid. “Rowan Eugene Queen, look at me when I’m talking to you” she ordered in a strict tone<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“Papers. Signature. Now”<br/>
“I’m thinking about it”<br/>
“Thinking about…?! Thinking about what? What’s there to think? Sign these and we’ll go home, and we’ll never have to look back at this! Nobody has to know.”<br/>
“And what about the raisin?”<br/>
“The what?”<br/>
“Her. What about her?”<br/>
“She’ll be fine. Adopting couples love newborns. She’ll go to a fit, nice marriage and will be very happy. And we’ll resume our lives”<br/>
“And I’ll never see her again?”<br/>
“Why do you care?”<br/>
He just shrugged and turned his attention back to her. Gina watched him watch her. Goddamn. She was losing him.<br/>
“Are you the father?” A nurse asked, walking towards.<br/>
*Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it*<br/>
Gina prayed.<br/>
“I suppose I am” He said it so <i>naturally,<i> with such a bright genuine smile that Gina almost forgot how critical those words were.<br/>
“Well, I’m Callie, and I’m on charge tonight. Congratulations, Mr… Oh, Queen.” Her eyes widened When reading the tag on the incubator. “We’re glad at least someone’s here”</i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i></p><p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yea, well…” He scratched the back of his head nervously</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Don’t worry. Her mom will get over it.” She turned to Gina “You must be Gran…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“No I’m not” Gina snapped harshly before she could finish the sentence “We were leaving”<br/>
“We were not”<br/>
“Rowan, I will not repeat it. Sign those bloody papers and get your ass back in the car”<br/>
“What if I don’t want to?”<br/>
“This is serious! There’s no other way!”<br/>
“Yes there is!”<br/>
“You can’t be serious!” What 19 year old would ever choose this?<br/>
“Well I am”<br/>
“You don’t even know what serious means! You have no sense of responsibility! You’ve never finished anything you’ve ever started!”<br/>
“Maybe I want to change! Maybe I can grow up if you stop pestering the shit outta me day In day out! This is not your decision!”<br/>
“I’m not letting you do this Row!”<br/>
“Then go! Leave me the fuck alone and stop getting in my way!”<br/>
Before Gina could answer, a small cry came from the incubator.<br/>
And she found herself walking backwards.<br/>
It was right she couldn’t stop him but she wasn’t gonna take part on it.<br/>
So she turned around and left, as the nurse explained Row how to hold his newborn daughter.<br/>
“You’re not gonna break her, I promise. You’ll do fine. Because you’re here. Just because you’re here I know you’re gonna be a great dad. You already are” Callie said, putting his trembling arms on the correct position before lifting the small white bundle out the incubator.<br/>
They usually didn’t do it unless it was necessary for a feed or a change, but she thought this was even more important: they had to meet each other properly: The little one needed to hold on to someone after being abandoned. And there was something in the young boy’s eyes that told her he needed just the same.<br/>
So with a reassuring smile Callie placed her on Rowan’s arms, who brought her closer to his chest by instinct, a small smile already on his lips as he took in her features.<br/>
She was gorgeous. And he didn’t know why, but he found her to be the most perfect thing he had ever seen. He instantly knew he was gonna protect that wrinkled prune at all costs.<br/>
“Hey there, lil'raisin. I’m…” He swallowed the lump in his throat “I’m your Dad and… I’m here now.”<br/></i></i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Piper</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Row has a lot questions to ask himself, and he knows it's not only his own future at stake, but also The Prune's, who may be getting a name.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey! Thanks for sticking around.<br/>I'm still trying to figure out how to insert pictures without losing my sanity, but when I do, I'll show you how I imagine Row and the raisin, although you can have your own take on them of course.</p>
<p>also, as always, don't be shy with the feedback. Because although I've written this for my own pleasure and enjoymnt (cause I'm a sucker for fluff and I don't see nearly enough out there), I post it to see if you guys agree. And if you don't let me know you're there, I won't go through the trouble of posting.</p>
<p>Anyway, have a nice day. xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of all the things Rowan Queen might have aspired to be, -a Rockstar, a Roger Taylor level drummer...- a 19 year old solo dad wasn't amongst them.</p>
<p>All he knew was that since he had first held that small Wrinkly being and her eyes had met his, she had stolen a part of him, and that the only way to feel completed again was being with her.</p>
<p>Ridiculously sappy, he knew.</p>
<p>"But that's what makes best parents" Callie, the nurse who had introduced them assured him one day when he confessed his thoughts out loud, while he watched her sponge bath the infant "Don't feel stupid, or embarrassed for feeling that way, Row. In fact, that's exactly how it should be. Always. And those fathers who deny it or fight that connection, end up estranged from their kids as they grow up. Take it from a daughter who hasn't seen her father in 5 years"</p>
<p>But, alas, there he was, living between his flat and the Hospital's newborn aisle, because he just couldn't get that one girl out his head, despite don't knowing how he had come to this.</p>
<p>"Well I haven't seen mine in 9"</p>
<p>"And that scares you, don't it?"</p>
<p>He gasped, and nodded slowly.</p>
<p>"Is better having no father figure at all than having a bad one. Just like I think your Prune is luckier having one brave dad than a coward mom"</p>
<p>"And two fit parents?" He asked, eyes flicking to the untouched pile of adoption papers</p>
<p>"Well that's the ideal situation, isn't it? But the weight always ends up relaying more on the mother, you know? The father always steps back, because society still thinks it's more acceptable for us women to raise the children because, of course, we have deeper connection with 'em for carrying them around for nine months and blah blah blah." She got the towel and handed it to him before laying the squirming 2 day old In his arms.</p>
<p>He carefully wrapped it around her and sat down so he wouldn't drop her, then started to stroke her soft delicate skin with the towel.</p>
<p>"But that's bullshit." Callie continued "That's an excuse you men came up with to sneak out from changing nappies. But I believe you guys are just as capable of taking care of children as us. And that you might be the ultimate proof of it." She gathered her hair in a ponytail, and smiled at father and daughter, as Row was now</p>
<p>leaning back on the rocking chair with the Prune, -as all the staff had begun to call her- laid on his bare chest.</p>
<p>"So forget whatever prejudices you have. This kid needs you, she doesn't know nothing about what's going on, she misses her little warm oven, the voice she was so used to hear and that she'll never hear again because that world has left her behind the first chance she got and she's very confused.</p>
<p>But also, She doesn't know about gender stereotypes, or that she's a girl. But she knows you're here. And her instincts tell her you're safety, and warmth, and love. Sure, I'm around a lot too, but soon you'll be discharged and everything she'll have will be you. A d then she'll grow up and will be forever grateful for everything you will have done for her"</p>
<p>The teen nodded, taking in all the words but remaining silent. Quiet moments like this -when she was calm and content- were quite meaningful.</p>
<p>"I just want the best for her. And I'm not sure I am"</p>
<p>"Well, from where I'm standing, you're pretty much up there. Nobody gets her to settle down as quickly as you do. That has to mean something, right? Newborns have this amazing instinct of detecting sources of love and protection. And you are hers. She trusts you: trust yourself"</p>
<p>Days went by, and Row found himself getting up early in order to go back to hospital. At home he was unable to sleep, tossing and turning restlessly as questions filled his head.</p>
<p>Was she better off with him?<br/>Was he ready?<br/>How could Callie be so much more sure about the whole thing than he was?<br/>What if he wasn't good enough?<br/>What if this was a big mistake?<br/>What if he found it impossible to commit to this?<br/>Why did he want to become a dad in the first place?<br/>Was it all just a desperate attempt to try and prove mom wrong?<br/>What if he failed and screwed the poor kid's life just to win an argument?<br/>What if mom was right?<br/>Should he just sign those papers before it was too late and forget the whole thing?<br/>And if he did, what would happen to her? <br/>Would she find a famly soon?<br/>Or would she end up in an orphanage, and grow up wondering why her parents had deserted her? <br/>How had the responsibilty of someone else's fate ended on up in his hands?</p>
<p>
  <i> The sixth day, he made his way to the hospital as usual, but something felt off. What it was? He couldn't put a finger on it, so he shrugged it off and entered the NICU area where she was.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Hey, lovely one, look at you, a bit bigger each day" he cooed at his yet unnamed daughter, as he put his hand through the incubator hole to let her know of his presence. "So strong and so beautiful" he smiled brightly as her small hand closed around his finger.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes, this way please" he heard a male voice and turned his eyes to see a doctor and a man and a woman who were probably in their thirties</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Oh my gosh she's so tiny!" The woman exclaimed, walking towards the glass</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Who are you?" Row asked, stepping defensively in front of her before she could reach the baby.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"You must be Rowan Queen?" The man held his hand out "We're the adopting couple..."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"What?" He basically slapped it away "No! Who told you she's in for adoption?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Mister, you signed the adoption papers" the Doctor said</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"No I didn't!"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes you did. Here" the doctor looked through the pile of papers on his hands and showed him.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He snatched the file from him. That was his signature but he didn't remember signing anything. He may have doubts about being a dad, but Callie was right, the little prune and him needed each other. They belonged together And he wasn't gonna give her away. The only way was through.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And just like that, a decision was made.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"There must be a mistake. She's not up for adoption"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Err... Yes she is" the man said</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"No she's not! I should know better than you, huh?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"We've heard about the mother. So sad. But babies need their mommys, don't they?" The woman cooed from the other side of the incubator</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"You can't take her" if looks could kill, Row would have murdered her right then and there.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Mister..."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"No! He's my daughter!"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Sir, signing this you gave up your parental rights"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"And what the hell does that even mean?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Legally, she's not yours anymore"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"But I don't remember signing anything!"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"But this is your signature"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes. But I... I didn't mean it"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The woman scoffed "Well you clearly did."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Mind your fucking business!" He snapped, before turning to the doctor "Look, I really don't know how my signature is there but I need you to... I don't know, forget it, okay?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Forget it?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes! Whatever that stupid paper says, I'm keeping her. And I will do everything you want me to"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Sorry. There's nothing we can do about it now. You could take this to court but... It's a lost cause"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"What is that supposed to mean?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"A 19 year old against a healthy, stable marriage?" He used the same arguments mom had</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"But I'm her dad..." His voice quivered, as his baby started to cry.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Don't worry sweetheart. Mommy and Daddy are here now" the woman said "Our Judy"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Judy? What the fuck, you're not naming her Judy!"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"What we do with our daughter is our business, sir" the woman said "Now please, leave us alone"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"No! She's not Judy. She's my prune, I'm gonna prove to all of you fuckers wrong, because I can fucking do this if I want you. Not because I wanted to at first, or because I can't have my own kid like you; she's my own kid and she belongs with me. And I may not be a middle upper class, or drive a goddamn Mercedes, or have a huge house and a stable boring job at whatever office. And she may not have a goddamn mother, or her own room. So what? She has me. Because I'm the one who's been here for the whole bloody week worrying about her. Not you, not her mother. So fuck off and choose another kid!"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Two men who Row hadn't even seen arrive took him, as he fought and called for his crying daughter with every ounce of strength within him. "PIPER! PIPER! DADDY WILL GET YOU! I'M YOUR DAD, DON'T FORGET!" <i></i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Then he woke up with a jolt in that same hospital room, as his newborn baby awoke too beside him</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He quickly sat up and leaned over to place a hand on her tummy, to check that she was real, letting out a sigh of relief when feeling her warm skin.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>It had been just a dream. Well, a nightmare rather than a dream. But she was there, safe next to him</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Hey, baby girl. Yes, hello darling. You had a good night? Gave trouble to the nurses?" he asked, stroking her torso. "Are we hungry?" He offered his little finger like he had seen the nurses do, and she began to suck on it as response, which made him chuckle. "Alright, I'll call so they get us a bottle okay?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>3 minutes later, he was sitting on the green rocking chair, Baby Prune on his bare chest -because apparently skin to skin helped parents and kiddos bond or whatever- as he gave her the bottle.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He had to admit, ever since he had learned how to properly hold her, he looked forward to feeding, because he had grown to love these little moments, and by the end of them, be always felt closer and more in love with that tiny, wrinkled human being which he had helped make.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Who was a part of him somehow, and who he couldn't imagine his life without despite having only known her for 6 days.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>She was so amazing. So mesmerizing. With her clear grey eyes and her peachy skin, and her adorable ears.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He just couldn't get his eyes off her.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"You're gonna come home with me in a couple days, and..." He realized he hadn't really thought about a plan. He had just moved out mom's, and the apartment was still empty. He'd have to start getting stuff. But anyway "... And we'll figure something out. I'm not gonna renounce to you. No ma'am. You've got me. And I've got you. And I'll look after you and make sure you're always happy and safe and... loved. I fucking love you so damn much and I don't even know how did this happen. I mean you're not even a week old and you've already turned my life upside down just by bloody existing. You can't even understand what I'm saying. But here I am, making all this plans and Shit... I, who never thinks ahead, who never knows his future beyond what meal he's gonna get. But I... Damn. Do you babies have like special powers or something? Do you like... Is it a defensive instinct? Like you manage to make us go nuts about you by casting a spell it whatever so we'll stay enchanted? Because this is fucking ridiculous."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>She finished the bottle and he put it aside.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Speaking about plans, we can't keep calling you Baby Prune. We're gonna have to choose a name. A pretty unique gorgeous name for a special, perfect little princess like you. So, let's see" he changed his hold on her so they were face to face. Something the nurses had called.. ? He wasn't really sure but he had got hand on it "Yes, hello" he smiled helplessly at the sight of her "Baby girl. Baby girl" he cooed absentmindedly as he analysed her features</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Then he remembered his dream. He had called her Piper. He wasn't even sure if he had heard that name before but he liked it. It was original, cool, rare enough people would associate it with her but not awful, like other names he had heard.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Piper" he whispered, tasting the word while contemplating her face. It sounded good to him. "Piper Queen" he said, a bit louder this time as her tiny hand closed around a strand of his blonde hair. "You like that? Piper?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>She just blinked, but he interpreted it as an affirmative answer</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"It's settled, then. Piper. Pips for short." He smiled, and brought her back to his bare chest so he could lull her back to sleep with his rambling, which had worked the previous times.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"My Piper" he kissed her head and began to rub her back "I'm so scared honestly. I won't lie to ya, I have no idea what I'm doing but you can rely on me. I'm good at improvising so I'll figure it out. Don't worry. But you gotta take it easy, hm? If you have a bit of patience, it'll be just fine. And about this?" He reached for the papers -which were unsigned- and ripped them off "Fuck it. Just fuck it."</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Leaving kudos only robs a second of the reader's time, but makes a writer's whole day.<br/>And don't even get us started on comments... ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Pressure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Row has to start stepping out of the bubble him and his daughter have been living in while in the safety of the hospital, and break the news to his best friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so, a little reminder to the boy's alter egos:<br/>Row: Roger<br/>Len: Freddie<br/>Terry: Brian<br/>Rick: John</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Row had hung up on Len mid sentence, the boys had been confused. Then again, he was at his mom's house and they had heard her infamous shout of &lt;&gt; that always preceded an argument, so they let it go. But then he didn't turn up to rehearsal, or called back for the rest of the afternoon. Or the following afternoon. Or for rest of the week. And that was unlike him. He always called back. (Well, most of his former one night stands would disagree with this). Let's just say he always called his band mates back. Sometimes drunk, at 4 AM, Thus leaving  a wakeful Terry with 2 hours to spare nothing to do but to start revising for whatever exam he had ahead.</p>
<p>So, when they didn't know of him, they went directly to the village's police station, to see if he was locked up, and if not, to report him missing.</p>
<p>"What if we ask Gina?" Rick suggested</p>
<p>"I'd rather check the morgue first, thanks" Len said.</p>
<p>"Well, what else can we do? Huh?"</p>
<p>"Audition new drummers"</p>
<p>"Seriously boys. Let's go."</p>
<p>They knocked on Row's childhood home. Gina opened, with messy hair, a dressing gown and slippers</p>
<p>"Oh, hello boys. He ain't here" she took a drag of the 4th cigarette she had smoked that day despite it only being 8:30 AM.</p>
<p>"Where is he?"</p>
<p>"He isn't at home?"</p>
<p>"We've checked and there's no track of him. We haven't seen him in 7 days"</p>
<p>She sighed "in the hospital, I think. If he hasn't left already"</p>
<p>"Hospital?" All three said simultaneously</p>
<p>"What happened?!" Len added</p>
<p>"You don't know?"</p>
<p>"Know what?"</p>
<p>She smiled, mockingly "Wow, father of the year isn't so sure after all"</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>She laughed bitterly. If he hadn't told his best friends yet, it maybe meant he was reconsidering the whole thing. Maybe common sense had hit him after the first stinky nappy.</p>
<p>"You know what? Come in."</p>
<p>"Oh we were actually in a rush..."</p>
<p>"You wanna find him or not? Come in, I don't bite</p>
<p>"Alright" all three musicians entered somewhat awkwardly in the house where so many sleep overs had taken place, back in the day.</p>
<p>She led them to the kitchen, where the phone was, and dialed.</p>
<p>Callie was the closest to the phone "Row? Yes, I'll get him"</p>
<p>She made her way to the room where the Prune had been moved in the previous evening, due to her favourable evolution and the need of free incubators.</p>
<p>She grinned at the scene: the 6 day old infant was dozing against her dad's bare chest, supported by his hands -which seemed huge in comparison to her small figure-. His eyes were closed, but Callie could tell he was awake as his left hand was stroking her head. It was adorable, and they seemed at such peace -poor Row had spent his first whole night on night watch and was exhausted-.</p>
<p>"Row" she called softly</p>
<p>He opened his big blue eyes in acknowledgement.</p>
<p>"You have a call"</p>
<p>"A call? From who?" He whispered back, before looking down at the baby to make sure she was asleep</p>
<p>"Didn't say. But she was kind of irritated"</p>
<p>"Oh, that's mom then" he smiled sarcastically, but didn't move a bit.</p>
<p>"You aren't gonna get on the phone?"</p>
<p>"I don't know. She doesn't deserve our attention does she?" He cooed</p>
<p>"How bad can it be?"</p>
<p>"You don't wanna see my bad side. And I don't ever want her to see it either"</p>
<p>Callie smiled "Go. I'll stay with her"</p>
<p>He groaned in annoyance. He was so comfortable, and he didn't want to get up.</p>
<p>"C'mere darling" he mumbled, detaching his daughter from his lap and carefully lying her on the cot</p>
<p>He exited the room and walked to the phone "What?"</p>
<p>"Row! Where are you?" The three voices of his best friends greeted him from the other side</p>
<p>"Oh, hi guys I... How did you get this number?"</p>
<p>"We're calling you from your mum's. She says you're in hospital" Terry's soft voice said worriedly</p>
<p>"You've gone fucking AWOL! Where are you man? We're worried as hell" Len scolded</p>
<p>"Oh yeah, hehe been..."he scratched the back of his head "been pretty busy" He glanced in the direction of his daughter's room, where he saw Callie readjusting the yellow teddy bear he had bought her the second day.</p>
<p>"Busy? With what?" Rick inquired</p>
<p>"It's... It's a long story."</p>
<p>"Well we've got time"</p>
<p>"Shouldn't you be in uni?" Row said in hopes they'd have to run into class</p>
<p>"It's Sunday, Row!"</p>
<p>"Oh is it?" He had lost track of time, honestly</p>
<p>"C'mon! Spit it"</p>
<p>He sighed "Alright, huh..." He tried to think of where to start. He couldn't really think much tho; his brain was pudge at that moment. "I met a girl in..." He counted nine months back from February "June?" No wait Piper was premature so it could be July or... Then it hit him. "No, remember that afternoon when we set up that Live Aid session in your parents backyard, Len?"</p>
<p>The boys nodded. July 13th. How could they forget? It had been dubbed the best Summer Party of 1985 in town. The four of them had tried to get tickets, but they couldn't even afford a ticket to London in the first place. And so, They watched the whole show with four TV screens around the yard instead, and the whole village had joined them, arguing on which performance had been the best.</p>
<p>Of course, all four members of Symbols agreed that it had been Queen.</p>
<p>
  <i>"...But they signed up late" someone said. <br/> "Yea, they came late to the party" another agreed. <br/>"So what? They rocked the party! You just say that because you like U2 better"<br/> "Just like you favour Queen!" <br/> "But we've got a point! Regardless of how much we like them, they were, objectively, the best performance" <br/>"Objectively? Bullshit!" Anne Williams snapped "They played the same shit they always play! And Bono was a true gentleman, helping that girl who was getting crashed by the crowd."<br/> "Yea, I'm sure Freddie wouldn't have given a shit, so full of himself and his teeth up his~" <br/>Dennis Phelps couldn't finish his sentence as a  someone tossed him a Converse, which hit his head. A young woman, with Bowie-like orange dyed haircut approached, with  a bare left foot and the matching shoe on the other <br/> "You know nothing about putting up a good show then. Also, you mess with Freddie Mercury again and next time the shoe will be stuck up your ass" she told Dennis, retrieving the item "I mean, it's clear who I'm rooting for but Queen really did what had to be done. Geldof told them all to play the hits, because that's precisely why they're hits: they work. Other artists, like your boyfriend Bono and his band played new material, as if this was their concert. And it's not. Even though they signed up on time and whatever. They took a risk, crowd didn't know the song, they lost interest. But Queen had common sense: they played the hits, the anthems, and people connected with them. And it's not about Freddie or him hypnotizing Wembley. It's having some common sense. And not even you two knew the lyrics of U2s new song. So shut the hell up"<br/>Row had liked her instantly. That's a girl who knows the stuff.<br/>They exchanged a smile, a wink and a complicit nod<br/>"We must join our forces to help out our friends under pressure, don't we?" She said. <i></i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Oh yes, Bowie girl." Terry remembered</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Yep."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"So what's with her?" Rick said.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Besides you getting laid, that's implied." Len added, his eyeroll audible across the line.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Well, that.. she..." He cut himself off when a cry echoed in Pip's room. "Gotta go, guys. I'll call you back"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"No! Row!" Len said, but the line went dead.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Shit."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"What happened?" Gina, who had watched the scene from the door frame, -and was about to finish her 6th cigar in a row,- asked</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"He rambled about that Live Aid day, and a girl he met there"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Did he say her name?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"No. He had to go suddenly. It's all weird"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Yea, well... Life is weird, boys"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"I don't understand. What's going on? Can't you tell us, Mrs. Queen?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Oh no. No. It's not my story to tell. Nor my business. I tried my best, but that stubborn bastard didn't listen. I'm sorry" she said</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"But is he okay?" Len asked, concerned</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Gina grinned, at how despite it all, the four boys would stick up with each other to the end of the world "Yes. He's fine."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Row, are you okay?" Callie said, as the drummer wordlessly took the bundle from her</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Yes, yes. Why wouldn't I be?" He said, sitting with the fussy baby</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"You're a bit pale"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Oh I... Nothing. Just... I'm nervous honestly. Because we're about get discharged and I'm gonna be alone with her and I'll have to dad around all by myself and... And everyone will know..."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Know what?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"About her"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"And is that a problem?" Callie crossed her arms</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"No, I mean... No, of course not. But everyone will ask questions and judge me and... I'm worried I will end up believing them more and fuck it all up"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Believing what?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"They'll start telling me it's a mistake, that I'm gonna screw everything up and that I won't be able to be a good dad and I'm afraid it will become true"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"So you're saying that how people think of you is gonna affect the way you... How you called it? Dad around?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He nodded "Well, answer me these, will you? Have you, in this moment or at any point during these seven days, thought you are making a mistake?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He looked at the tiny bundle and shook his head.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Are you willing to always do your best for the shake of Piper?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He nodded, noticing he was unconsciously rocking her back and forth.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Then what's the problem?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Look I haven't exactly been a role model in... Well anything. One thing my mom's proud of is that I'm not into drugs. Everyone who has a daughter in the block hates me. So how am I supposed to raise one?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Exactly how you've been doing the last six days"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Yes but I have you guys. And the medics, and the equipment. But there I'll be all alone"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"You will never be alone. You have the friends you've told me about. And your mum...Maybe the little darling is gassy"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Oh stop about my mum" he carefully changed the Prune to an upright position and began to rub circles on her back without even hesitation. Wow he was actually getting a hold on the burping stuff.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Yes. Your mum will eventually come to terms with the lil'raisin. I'm sure." She said, whist handing him a muslin to place on the baby's range of accuracy</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Oh you don't know her"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"I know she's a mum. Your mum and mother's rarely ever turn their backs on their children for good"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Row looked at the baby, then raised an eyebrow at Callie</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"I said it's rare. There are obviously exceptions" she said "And believe me you're better off. Also, she did call. That's gotta Mean  something"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"I didn't speak with her. Just the band. They were at her place, yeah but... I don't know. I'm not gonna beg on my fucking knees..." He was interrupted by a burp I his ear. Damn, that was a big one. He'd need 2 beers to produce such a loud one.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Easy, tiger." He laughed "Goddamn it, where did that come from, huh? You're unbelievable" he praised, while getting the muslin out his shoulder and handing it to Callie</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"And a neat one too. 10/10." She chuckled</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Atta girl. That's my lil'raisin. Yeah, good girl" he cooed, bringing her to face him, before she started fussing and he nested her again on his chest "Aw, don't cry honey. Please. You're alright. C'mon" he begged. She settled down quickly, and he sighed in relief.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"The point is, that here is like... I feel safe, you know? It's like another world. Another life. And now I have to fit her in my every day, and be in charge and stuff, and... I'm not sure I'm ready"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Parents are never ready to take them home. Not even those who had 9 months of preparation, and parenting classes, and a nicely decorated and supplied nursery. No one feels ready. But nerves are good. Nerves mean that you care. Worrying and doubting about your ability to be the dad your child needs is precisely what's gonna make you raise your game. Just one last question: are you 100% that you love that lil one with all your heart?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He looked at his daughter, who had gone back to sleep with the rambling of his voice, as his hand still caressed head and grinned "Hell yeah." Otherwise, how could he explain the way his chest seemed to be holding two hearts whenever she was in his arms? Or how, when he had to leave for the night it felt as though both those hearts were ripped away from him? Or how else could he have turned this goddamn sappy? Yep. That was the proof.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Then that's all the two of you will ever need. She won't care if you two are rich or live in a cardboard box, or if she wasn't in your initial plans, or that she doesn't have a mom. As long as you love her and make her feel like it."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He nodded, and rested his lips on her soft scalp.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Right, I Gotta get to another patient. Call'em back."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He stood up, this time taking his Prune along, and went to the corridor where the phone was. Making sure her head was safely cradled along with the rest of her small body on his left arm, he tucked the phone between the right shoulder and neck and dialed their shared place's number</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Rick picked up "Yes?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"I'm a dad" he said simply, and waited for their reaction.</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoy.<br/>xx- Pookie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Meet the Family (Part )</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>John: Rick Lincoln (Cause he is John Richard Deacon born on August 19th 1951™™™™™)<br/>Brian: Terry Garrett (Cause my uncle used to have a black puddle named Terry and I had no choice)<br/>Freddie: Len Mars (Yea I couldn’t help myself)</p>
<p> Row opens up with the boys about the raisin.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m a dad”……..</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s… let’s get over this again: A daughter?” Terry, the band’s guitarist couldn’t believe his ears.</p>
<p>“Yes, Terry. A daughter” Row repeated for the 19th time from the other side of the phone.</p>
<p>“A baby.” Len said, taking another sip of his tequila.</p>
<p>“No, a 30 year old alpaca.” Row said sarcastically. “Yes, a goddamn baby. Fucking gorgeous, just so you know”</p>
<p>“And you’re gonna keep her.” Rick, who had been quietly plunking his bass’ strings, added. “Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“It’s done. I’ve already kept her. And it’s not like I’m rescuing a shelter dog. She’s mine. Period.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, was just trying to… Wrap my head around it”</p>
<p>To be honest, Row still couldn’t quite believe it (that he was a father). Not even now, as he tried to convince his best friends while holding his girl with the other arm.</p>
<p>“And is your mom okay with it?” Terry asked</p>
<p>He scoffed, clutching his Lil raisin close at the thought “My mom has no say in this”.</p>
<p>“But she knows” Rick said.</p>
<p>He sighed “Yes, she knows. And she was a bitch about it, okay? She can disown me for all I care”. It’s not like there was much to inherit, anyway.</p>
<p>There was a general sigh from his three best friends.</p>
<p>“And what are you gonna do?”</p>
<p>“ ‘bout what?”</p>
<p>“Um, I don’t know, man. About School? Maybe about your life in general?”</p>
<p>“School ain’t something I’m worrying about”.</p>
<p>“What a surprise.” Rick rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“But you’re still in the band right?” Len said</p>
<p>“Oh, of course. Of course. You guys are gonna be the only ones keeping me sane”</p>
<p>They chuckled.</p>
<p>“But we ain’t gonna babysit for you, huh?”</p>
<p>“As if you knew anything about babies.”</p>
<p>“Well, the same as you.” Terry said.</p>
<p>“Just what I was saying: nothing at all.” Row grinned.</p>
<p>“Her future looks bright, then.” Len half teased.</p>
<p>“Incandescent, in fact.” Row could pretty much hear Terry’s arched eyebrow.</p>
<p>The youngest member could only roll his eyes and try not to take it as an insult. He knew this was a lot to process all of a sudden and that in the inside, beyond the sarcasm and teasing, they were happy for him.</p>
<p>“Whatever, guys.” he replied, as Pips began to frown. He sighed, knowing that meant smelly treat was on its way. “Gotta go. By the way, she just told me she thinks you guys stink” he grinned, before hanging up.</p>
<p>The other three men exchanged a confused glance, and stayed in silence for a minute, until Len broke it:</p>
<p>“I say he’ll go completely nuts in seven days”.</p>
<p>“That long? Nah, I think less than 24 hours after they leave the hospital.” Terry said</p>
<p>Len smirked “Bet?”</p>
<p>“I’m a bit tight at the moment, pal.”</p>
<p>“Then not money. If I win, you’ll be my model for the midterm design project. It’s 30’s fashion. For ladies, of course”.</p>
<p>“Ok. But if I win you’ll do my chores for a whole weeks.”</p>
<p>“A whole week?!”</p>
<p>“Seven days, if you prefer it.”</p>
<p>They shook hands “Deal. Rick? Join us?”</p>
<p>“I actually rather believe that they’ll be alright.” Rick got up and stretched.</p>
<p>“Well of course they will. Eventually. Row always figures things out.” T said</p>
<p>“The fun part is to watch him go crazy in the meantime” Len chuckled “Like when he first moved in and left a fork in the plate when first using the microwave.”</p>
<p>They laughed, remembering how their friend had called them at 9 PM in panic, screaming the microwave had exploded.</p>
<p>“Let’s just hope for the best. I mean he seemed quite sure of himself this time. And who knows, maybe being a dad is the best way to grow up.” Rick defended.</p>
<p>“Yea, well a bit radical, don’t you think?” Len said</p>
<p>“Like sock therapy. If smokers quit when diagnosed with lung cancer, maybe Row settles down now he has a baby”</p>
<p>“I just still don’t get why he didn’t just put her in adoption.” T said.</p>
<p>Rick shrugged “Would you if you were in his shoes?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely.”</p>
<p>“That’s exactly how Row would’ve answered, say, a week ago. That’s what we all answer. Until it really happens. I think it’s one of those situations where you can’t really picture until you live it.”</p>
<p>“But this is Rowan Queen we’re talking about. Rowan &lt;&gt; Queen. I mean, he does know that a kid is gonna freeze his sex life for indefinite time, right? What the hell was going through his head?” Terry said.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you think that.” Len interjected “I mean, I’m the one who’s never gonna be a dad here, and the one who failed biology, but even I get it. He met her right? Before any decision was made, he met her. Once you meet your kid, you’re tangled up forever. And you might think you’re not but if you give them away you’ll never get rid of a feeling of remorse.”</p>
<p>“Wow, Lenny, that was deep”</p>
<p>“Yea, where’d you get that from?”</p>
<p>“Just common sense.”</p>
<p>“Funny, considering you’re the one who’s started the bet.” Rick grinned.</p>
<p>“One thing doesn’t prevent the other. And out of the two of us, I’m the optimistic! He gave him one day, I gave him seven! I trust him.”</p>
<p>“Well I’m not sure if I do. I mean, I love him, he’s a great guy, a great musician, and everything else, but he’s not reliable. Remember his first job as a waiter? I’m still waiting for the fish and chips I ordered last April.”</p>
<p>The other two chuckled “I once lent him a t-shirt, and I swear I saw Liz Michaels wearing it.” Len said</p>
<p>“See what I mean?”</p>
<p>“Yes, well, we can’t do anything about it, T. It’s his life.”</p>
<p>“But this affects us too, one way or another. This affects the band. And he didn’t even consult us.”</p>
<p>“Well what did you expect him to do? Call and go &lt;&gt;?” Rick imitated a phone with his hand, doing a decent impression of their friend’s high voice.</p>
<p>“A head’s up would have been nice.”</p>
<p>“Terry, just chill for fucks shake. I mean, this is unexpected, but Row’s our best friend, our brother, and we have to support him. Because, if he’s a dad, that’s makes us her uncle’s. And it’ll be fun having a little niece we can spoil!” Len smiled at the idea.</p>
<p>“Spoil? With what money?” Terry, always realistic, put his hands on his hips</p>
<p>“With the upcoming tour’s, of course darlings.” He twirled majestically around the room.</p>
<p>“First, that’s in four months.” Rick reminded.</p>
<p>“If it does happen at all.”</p>
<p>They still had one last song to arrange and record. Plus, they didn’t know how Row was gonna make it work now he had a baby. But nobody addressed that concern out loud.</p>
<p>“Oh don’t be so goddamn negative, fellas! C'mon! We’re uncles! Row’s made a very important, life-changing, mature decision, and we should be proud of him. So,” he went to the fridge and returned with three beers “I say we toast for him and the lil Queenie.”</p>
<p>The other two grinned and accepted the cans, opening them.</p>
<p>“Oh, I say we Split a fourth beer in his behalf, cause parents shouldn’t drink while breastfeeding.” Terry mocked, earning a laugh</p>
<p>“To the Queens,” Rick raised his can “For our little bro to take this seriously and not fuck this kid up.”</p>
<p>“To the Queens” Terry and Len crashed theirs as well.</p>
<p>🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁</p>
<p>Meanwhile, in the hospital…</p>
<p>“Goddamn it, raisin! How can someone so small produce so many colors of something so stinky?” Row exclaimed, holding his breath as he clipped the fresh nappy on his daughter “We only feed you milk! Like… Like white milk! How can you turn a white liquid into rainbow pudding? Holy shit!” he held the dirty one at arms length and threw it in the bin “It’s a damn good thing I love you, cause I won’t do this for anyone else” he told her, lifting her up to his bare chest again before walking around the room.</p>
<p>“You gonna be a good girl for me for the next eighteen years? Huh?” He kissed her chubby cheek “What am I saying? You’re my daughter, of course you’re gonna be a trouble maker. But we’ll get along, you’ll see. I ain’t gonna be like my parents. Don’t worry. I won’t be a bloody pain in the ass like mom, and I will never ever do anything my old man did. That I can promise. But I gotta admit I do want you to be like Gina. Yea, she’s a control freak sometimes, but let’s face it: she’s gotta be the strongest person I’ve ever met. You should’ve seen her kicking the bastard out the house. She took no shit.”</p>
<p>He smiled somewhat proudly at the memory, and for a second forgot how mad he was at her for turning her back on them.</p>
<p>“You wanna be a badass gurl like her? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do.” he cooed, craning his neck so he could brush his nose with her little button one. Her fist chose to close around the nearest strands of blond hair on reach, which he found secretly adorable.</p>
<p>But a part of him did wish he had mom’s support. After all, despite the rough patches through his teens, they had always had each other’s back; through thick and thin. She had have to raise him all alone, and although he hadn’t even begun with Pips, he already knew it hadn’t been easy. She may be stern, and a bit inflexible when it came to negotiating allowance. She could come across as rude if you caught her in the wrong mood (which many neighbors had) but above all she was a good person and a good mother.</p>
<p>And looking back, he hadn’t been such a great son. He could have been more responsible, less handful and more obedient. Less rebellious, too. He could have thanked her more often for the thousand things she did everyday. For the meals. For all the jobs she had taken to provide for the two of them. For the surprise birthday gift she had got him with the money she had been saving: a real drum kit. For helping him move out her house into that one room crappy appartement which would be Pips home.</p>
<p>But still she had rejected Piper without a second thought, regardless of her anger towards him; Pips was her granddaughter, she had done nothing wrong and as her father, Row doubted he would ever forgive Gina.</p>
<p>He sighed, untangling the hand of his hair and bringing it to his lips “But you don’t have to worry about all that. Just concentrate on staying strong and growing up. And I promise I’ll focus all of me on being the best dad. That you’ll never miss a mom cause you don’t need one. You’ve got me and I swear I’ll be enough. Even if I’m still young: I’ll have it all more fresh won’t I?” He grinned “You’re the one person who’s never judged me yet, and I don’t wanna let you down.”</p>
<p>That a was vow. And he was determined to keep it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Meet the family (Part 2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Row and Gina finally confront each other.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello.<br/>Whoever's reading this, thanks for making it this far.<br/>Also, although Gina is based on Winfred, the characterization is completly on me. I don't know her or her personality.<br/>Enjoy. xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Thought you didn’t want anything to do with us.” Row made his presence noticeable for the woman sitting on the rocking chair.</p>
<p>He had been watching them for a couple of minutes, since returning from a last supply run for Piper’s stuff. He was only gonna get a few more onesies, but ended up with:</p>
<p>-Three rattles,<br/>
-Six onesies (one of each color of the rainbow),<br/>
-A nightlight (which, come to think of it, was useless because his room didn’t have lids so it was never really dark due to street lamps.)<br/>
-And another two pinkies to add to the collection of 9 he already had at home.</p>
<p>Gina looked up from her granddaughter and to his son, who leaned against the doorway with arms crossed.</p>
<p>“If you can’t beat them, join them. Is that what you’re doing, mom?” He added, before she could speak.</p>
<p>“I’m not your enemy.” She said firmly.</p>
<p>“Bloody seemed like it.”</p>
<p>Gina sighed. She really didn’t want to fight now, so she looked down to the infant again as a grin escaped her lips. “Gotta admit she’s gorgeous.” </p>
<p>He beamed proudly “You bet.” Because she was. And he had been the first to say it.</p>
<p>“And how are you?”</p>
<p>“Nearly as gorgeous.” He winked, stepping inside the room.</p>
<p>Her mother scoffed at his antics.“I mean mentally-wise. Cause you look like shit”</p>
<p>“Why, thanks Mom. You've had better days as well.”</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes. “How are you sleeping lately?”</p>
<p>“Funnily enough I can’t sleep at night because I’m worrying about her. Really. Had a week when I could last sleep through and I couldn’t.”</p>
<p>“Good start.”</p>
<p>“I’ll manage.”</p>
<p>“Just promise me something...”</p>
<p>“Depends.”</p>
<p>“ If she’s actually yours…”</p>
<p>“She’s mine mum.”</p>
<p>“Listen. There will be times when she won’t let you be. On your bloody ears for days on end. I believe you made me lose half my auditive capacity. And that’s stressful. Now, you’ve never been the best on anger management…”</p>
<p>“Mom…”</p>
<p>“Let me finish. It’s normal. It will happen. You will probably want to suffocate her with a pillow -It did cross my mind more than once when you were this little-. If that or any close thought comes to mind just put her down and walk away from her, and hit something. Do whatever you have to do, and call me. I’ll help you out. But put her down first somewhere safe. Understood?”</p>
<p>“Mum I don’t need~”</p>
<p>“Understood?” She repeated, more sternly this time.</p>
<p>“Understood.”</p>
<p>“It’s not her fault.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“Don’t make her pay for it.”</p>
<p>“I’d never.”</p>
<p>“I hope so.”</p>
<p>“Really mum. I love her. I can't even find words to describe how much. I’m gonna do my absolute best, I’ll be the best dad ever, I will always be there for her, I’ll put her always first, I won’t let anything happen to her.” He meant that.</p>
<p>She knew he meant every letter of every word. She could recognize the spark of determination in his blue eyes. She had never seen him so sure of himself in the past 19 years of his life. 19 years. “I just don’t understand why you want to do this.”</p>
<p>He shrugged, reaching over to caress his baby's warm cheek. “I just can’t get enough of her, I guess. I can’t explain it. She makes me… I don’t know. But I can’t imagine her with any other last name or any other father. For better or for worst she's mine, and I can't just look the other way. I know you still don't get it, but... yeah, I'm not letting her go. ”</p>
<p>Gina grinned to herself. It made perfect sense.  Young and chaotic as he was, he was human. And he was being guided by a new-found, strong paternal instict. Up until that point, Gina doubted men had one. But she wasn't gonna dwell on that now.<br/>
“Speaking of last names, you got a full name?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes um… Piper. Piper Rock Queen.” He smiled. He was never going to get tired of saying or hearing it.</p>
<p>“Oh… Err, Rock?” Of course his mother didn't think that ay.</p>
<p>“As in Rock'n'Roll of course”</p>
<p>Gina couldn’t help an eye roll “It’s too late to talk you out of it, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Very much so. She’s already registered.” Row smiled as he had already predicted mom wouldn’t like it. The idea of naming her Gina had briefly crossed his mind, but that was more common. And he knew his daughter was special, so she deserved a cool, unique name.</p>
<p>“So Piper Queen.” Gina looked at the tiny being in her arms.</p>
<p>The mentioned opened her baby grey eyes as if she knew she was the topic of conversation.</p>
<p>Gina had to smile. She was beautiful. She already had the same eyeshape Row had as a newborn.</p>
<p>“Hello there Piper. I’m grandma.” She cooed instinctively.</p>
<p>Row would deny it, but he was relieved to hear her say that. She was there for him. For them. And that was more reassuring than anything.</p>
<p>“Yes, hello dearie.” She greeted, as the babe stared at her intently. "You're so tiny. Yes you are."</p>
<p>"Yeah, she's like... she was born early." He had heard the term one million times, but he couldn't remember it.</p>
<p>"Premature?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Yeah. Premature."</p>
<p>"How early?"</p>
<p>"They aren't sure, because the mother didn't say."</p>
<p>Before Gina could take her chance to ask him about the mysterious mother, Piper let out a distressed moan.</p>
<p>Row looked at his watch “She must be hungry.” Then leaned over until he was inches away from his daughter, in her short distance field of vision, his long hair covering her. “You wanna come with Daddy? I bet you do.” He cooed, and carefully slid one hand under her the back of her neck and her back.</p>
<p>“Mind the head.”</p>
<p>“You’re 8 days late” he said, taking her with ease -as he had been doing it for a week- and nestled her on the crock of his arm “Good morning, you beautiful thing. We’re going home tomorrow. Yes we are, I’m so excited” he spoke with high pitched voice as he gently bounced her, and Gina had to admit that he was quite a natural.</p>
<p>The genuine love in his eyes was the same -or even more intense- as he had have 8 days before when he had first laid eyes on her.</p>
<p>But that could still change quickly, a little voice reminded her.</p>
<p>“You’re so lovely, darling.” Her son continued, eyes fixed on his new daughter as if she was the only thing that existed.</p>
<p>
  <i>His daughter. <i></i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>The realization that she was now <i>a grandmother<i> shrunk in Gina.</i></i></i>
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          <i>Damn she felt old.<i></i></i>
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            <i>And if this was to become a tradition, 19 years from now maybe she’d be a <i> great-grandmother.<i></i></i></i>
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                  <i>God no.<i></i></i>
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                    <i>She then registered what he had said; “You’re getting discharged tomorrow?”</i>
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                    <i>Row looked up at her voice as if he had been snapped out of a trance “uh?”.</i>
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                    <i>“You’re getting discharged tomorrow?” She repeated.</i>
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                    <i>“Oh, yes” he smiled, looking down again. “Yes we are. We’re going home! Yes darling. And we’ll have so much fun…”</i>
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                    <i>“Do you have the equipment?” Gina had to interrupt their little conversation:</i>
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                    <i>It was good that he was confident and genuinely looking forward to it, but that didn’t mean he had any clue or had thought about all of the things a newborn needed. We’re talking about a boy who tried to put the washer on without detergent, and who would always leave coins in his jeans when throwing them in the laundry.</i>
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                    <i>He was capable of letting her sleep in the couch and feed her cow milk from a tin a can and a straw.</i>
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                    <i>“Yes. The basics anyway. Carseat, clothes, bottles, formula, nappies, some toys, pinkies, more pinkies, more clothes… Oh, hopefully I’ll get the boys to help me out building the crib. Haven’t had the time yet”</i>
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                    <i>“Where will she sleep until then?”</i>
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                    <i>“With me in bed. I know it’s dangerous cause I could suffocate her and blah blah blah, but that’s not gonna happen. I’ll be careful and… Well let’s face it we’re not going to sleep much, are we?”</i>
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                    <i>Gina had to chuckle “You have it all thought through.”</i>
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                    <i>“Of course I do”</i>
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                    <i>“Okay, not bad. What about bathing?”</i>
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                    <i>“The sink will do cause she’s so little, right?” he cooed, and she whined in response so he went to a bag and got a small bottle out. “Yes sweetheart, that’s your milk. Yes. I’m gonna have it heated up for ya, okay? We’ll get Callie.” He smiled, and as if on cue, the young woman walked past the room. She stopped for a moment when seeing the older woman.</i>
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                    <i>She smiled: she knew she’d come. She stuck her tongue out at Row when he noticed her, as if saying 'I told you!' and he waved her away with a wink, tossing her the empty bottle so she could refill it.</i></i>
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                      <i>Gina stayed the rest of the morning. She was curious, actually, about seeing her son as a father. Turns out he handled it quite well. Once she was fed, he changed her, played with her (game consisting on him making all sorts of faces to her as she stared intently up at him, one hand on his hair and the other around his index) until she got tired and fussy. Row said she hadn't slept well that night, and announved he was gonna (try to) put her down.</i>
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                      <i>"Oh, a night creature? Wonder where she gets it from." Gina teased.</i>
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                      <i>He let out a dry, sarcastic smile, but the idea that Piper already had some of his traits made him very happy.</i>
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                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i> After that, he only had to call Callie once cause he had really messed up with the swaddle and both him and his daughter had lost their nerves.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“There, all done. Don’t worry baby, your daddy will get it eventually.” The nurse cooed at the bundle when she had succesfully wrapped her up, as Row scratched the back of his blond head.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She then turned to Gina with a bright smile, and repeated the same words she had told her when they had first met 8 days earlier.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“And you must be Grandma.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>And this time, Gina smiled and nodded. “I am.” And there was pride in her voice.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Then the nurse turned to Row, whose attention was back on his child, and mouthed an “I told you.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>He looked up briefly just to stick his tongue out before his eyes were back on the bundle cradled in his arms. "I know you're very tired, cause you've kept me and the rest of the aisle up al night, so c'mon, don't play hard to get." </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She was quiet now, sucking on her dad's finger as he swayed. It was a beautiful and eandearing sight. Gina was afraid to blink and lose a second of it... or let a tear escape. </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>"C'mon, sleepy eyes, we're almost there." He praised in a whisper when her eyelids began to drop. "Atta girl. That's my girl. Off you go. Sweet dreams my love."</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>He kept swaying for a while after her eyes finally closed for good, "Just to make sure. Also, because she's so pretty when she's asleep."</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She knew it then; Row was in love. He was complete.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>And it was requited love, too. Because when he had have to go the the toilet and the babe had woken up, there had been nothing Gina could do that had calmed her down until Row finally came out and held her on his chest.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Already a Daddy’s girl. Goddamn it” the new grandmother commented with a slight grin of disbelief and marvel when she calmed down the second her face touched Row's collar.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Well I’m not complaining.” Row smiled back, as he walked around the room in hopes he’d get her to go back to sleep.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Wait until girl wants daddy three times in the middle of the night.” Gina half teased.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Well, daddy will get up. As many times as she needs me I’m gonna be there” he kissed Piper’s forehead, as she began to let her eyelids drop again.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Her smile grew at the confidence in his words. Perhaps they could all make this work.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She watched as he walked the room a few more times, humming a little tune Gina hadn’t heard before, and only when being sure she was off, he laid her down and sat on the sofa, between the cot and his mother.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“She’s a real doll.” Gina commented quietly as they both watched her sleep. “Or at least appears to be.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Yea. She manages to stay cute even when she’s crying like crazy.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“That’s cause she’s your daughter. I thought the same about you, but that’s bullshit: every newborn baby is, objectively, ugly. But we love them anyway and that’s why they become, in our eyes, the most beautiful thing in the world” she looked through her purse and got out a cigarette. (Remember this is the mid 80s, where smoking was allowed everywhere, as far as I’m concerned).</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“No, mom. Not here.” his eyes flicked to his sleeping daughter.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Why not?”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“It’s not good for her.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“The cigarette’s for me, not for her.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“She’d be second hand smoking. And her lungs are very vulnerable.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Gina scoffed. “Dear, I smoked through the first three months I was pregnant with you, then, as soon as you were out my butt, the first thing I asked for: a cigar. And then your father too. And you’re fine.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“I had pneumonia three times as a kid.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Oh please, don’t you dare blame me for that.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“I’m sure they were related.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“That’s bullshit! That’s a bunch of shit the government made up to raise the price of cigars and rip us off!” Gina always raised her voice when sensing she was losing an argument.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Which never failed to set his son off too.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“It’s a fucking scientific study!” He yelled.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Says the boy who would take money from my jackets to buy tobacco at 15!!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Yea so?”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Don’t go all anti-smoking on me, when you smoke just as much!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“I’ve quitted, just so you know!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Gina laughed “Yes right.” and put the cigar between her lips, getting a lighter out her pocket.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Get the fuck out of here” he stood up, as he tried to contain his anger.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“What?”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Get the fuck out of here!” He repeated, louder. He could handle her questioning him: they were both stubborn as hell and he was used to it. But he wasn’t gonna let her get her way and disrespect him this time, especially when it was his baby and her health at stake.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Oh c'mon Rowan!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“You light that shit up and you won’t have to worry about being a grandmother, or a mother for that matter!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She froze and looked defiantly at him with at him with the corner of her eye. “Was that a threat?”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Of course it was!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Oh for God's sake, you wouldn’t be able survive on your own for a week, let alone taking care of a baby!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Just you watch! I don’t need anything from you!” It wasn’t true.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Oh please! Don’t be ridiculous. Last week today you lost the last copy of your flat’s key, and guess who had to save the day? Oh, I got it, the same woman who helped you buy the damn house in the first place!!!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Well that’s what you wanted, huh? 19 years up my ass, telling me how bad you wanted me to come of age so I’d be gone!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Yes because living with you was a nightmare! Always had to clean after you, and make excuses for you when one of your "conquers” from the night before turned up on my doorstep because you hadn’t called them back or whatever bullshit! And now this?“ She pointed at Piper.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Row stepped in front of the cot protectively, staring menacingly at the woman. "This what? Huh?”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re playing to, but I ain’t taking care of her when you get tired of pretending to be Mr.Mom!!!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Oh believe me I’d rather leave with a raccoon than with you!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Well that’s a relief. Any raccoon would have a more stable life and responsibility than you!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Oh yes any raccoon would have more support than what I’m having!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“I told you where I stood from the beginning! I told you I’d wash my hands off you if you chose this!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Then what the fuck are you doing here now?! If you washed your hands off us, why did you come? To judge me? To repeat all the bullshit you already told me 8 days ago? Or to try and convince me to turn my back on her like you?  Well, bad news for you, Gina, that ain’t gonna happen. I love this kid unconditionally, more than anything, above myself and anything else, which is apparently way more than you ever loved me.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>&gt;&gt;And you know how I know that? Cause I’ll support her in everything. Even if I don’t agree with it. And I won’t push her, or put pressure on her to finish school or get a job. And if 19 years from now I’ve become a grandfather, I’ll be there for them. And if she wants to drop out school cause she’s sick of it, I won’t force her. And if instead of a secure stable job she wants to follow a dream I can’t even begin to understand, I’ll help her in any way I can.” He kept stepping closer to the woman as they made unbreakable eye contact, until she was against the wall, and snatched the cigar from her. “SO I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT OR YOUR GODDAMN OPINIONS! SHE’S MY GODDAMN DAUGHTER, AND I SAY WHAT I WANT HER TO BREATHE!”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>The small whine that usually preceded a cry broke the air, and Row instinctively reached over to put one foot on the cot’s wheels to rock it back and forth and try to calm her down before she woke, holding his mother’s defying gaze at all times.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>It didn’t work though and a wail escaped her lips, drawing her father’s full attention as he turned around to look at her (with an automatic soft features that had nothing to do with the agressive behaviour he had showed no less than a second ago).</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Hey prune princess” he cooed, resting a hand on her stomach. He didn’t want to pick her up while fighting with Gina. He didn’t want to scare her further than he already had with that shout. “Hello sweet stuff. Everything’s fine, go back to sleep, c'mon.” He pleaded.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She whined again. Row sighed, leaning towards her untill their foreheads were glued so he was in her short distance field of vision and began to pat her tummy in gentle rhythmic patterns. He forgot Gina’s presence, and their argument all together at the sight of her, because she was all that mattered.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She quieted down instantly, safe and warm below the familiar mop of blond hair that she already associated with calm and shelter. He remained in that position until she was asleep again, gradually slowing down the rhythm, untill he stopped.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>But still he didn’t move. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to resume the fight with Gina. Why did every single one of their conversations have to end in an argument?</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>So he stayed glued to her, taking in all the strength and the power of will he was gonna need to face his mother again.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“I came here to meet her” she spoke, this time in a calm manner.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>He sighed, pecking Piper’s forehead before stretching up and turning around “And?”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>She sighed. She sucked at this. But he -well, they- were her only family left. And inside, she had to admit she was at awe at his decision and determination to follow through.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Who said he couldn’t make it work?</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“And to apologise” she finally said.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“What for?”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Oh you know it.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“Yea but she doesn’t.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“She won’t remember any of this.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>“But perhaps one day she’ll want to know, and I’ll have to tell her Grandma was too proud to admit she was wrong.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Another eye roll “Alright.” She walked to the small bassinet, which was still being moved back and forth by Row’s foot “I’m sorry I was such a bitch about all this, dearie. I just know your… ” She sighed, the next word still tasting weird in her mouth “...your dad too well and I guess I’m worrying. Cause that’s what family does. I just hope it’s in vain this time. Good luck, you little bugger.”</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>Row smiled. Gina’s apologies wouldn’t mean a thing without a couple insults towards him here and there. That was just her way.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>And he guessed she had passed it down to him, just like one day Piper would get retention for shouting a few f words in kindergarten.</i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Heya.<br/>As always, I thrive on your feedback so please give some love.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. It can't be like this for long, or can it?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Basically Row's and Piper's first day on their own, narrative shifting from normal to Row's inner train of thought.</p>
<p>AKA: Our favourite blonde being a hot chaotic mess of a dad for an entire chapter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fluff. And I rest my case. Please show yourselves. Give some love.</p>
<p>also, all the inner thoughts were supposed to be in italics,but after a dozen attempts it won't let me. Sorry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Throughout his life, Row would regularly look back with infinite fondness and amusement at the first day he spent on his own with his daughter.</p>
<p>But today, as both him and his week old infant cried in each other's ears, he didn't think either of them would make it through another 24 hours, let alone long enough to look back and laugh at it.</p>
<p>He had read many books that contradicted each other.<br/>
-Some said to follow a feeding schedule.<br/>
-Others to do so whenever she'd demanded it.</p>
<p>-Some said that bathing was bad for the umbilical cord.<br/>
-Some others recommend to rub it with alcohol to help it fall early.<br/>
-And others said not to touch it. To simply leave it alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then there was Callie and her usual phrase echoing on his head "The best thing is to follow your instincts".<br/>
But that didn't help a damn either cause his instinct was messed up.</p>
<p>He had also read somewhere that sharing bed was good at the beginning. That it helped preventing SIDS.<br/>
Then on the next book, that sharing room was fine at first, but that bed was a risk factor in SIDS.</p>
<p>
  <i>But hold on.<i><br/>
What the hell was SIDS? They mentioned it everywhere. He went through all the pages until he found it, only to be left breathless when finding out what what it stood for:<br/>
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Whose exact cause was still unknown , and although there were some preventive stuff to do -on which, by the way, all the bloody books differed- there was nothing 100% safe.</i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>So, they meant his little Piper could just fucking die for no goddamn reason, and he wouldn't be able to do nothing about it? What the fuck! It wasn't fair! </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>So he found himself on the phone, dialing the number he always recurred to in times of trouble.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"I think I broke her, mom." He said as soon as he heard her pick up.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"You can't break a person, Rowan." Gina's voice replied with indifference. As if she had been expecting the call. Which, let's be serious, she had.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Well, there's a first time for everything." Row was far from reassured.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Don't be overdramatic. You didn't expect it to be easy, did ya? Or you thought she was gonna be like a doll, huh? Like those that have a switch for when you get tired of playing house?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"No but I didn't think... I mean she was much quieter in the hospital."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Well, darling, she must have sensed the move or something."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"You mean she doesn't like my place?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"No, you silly. Although there's room for improvement in the style... But that's not the point. She just needs time to get used to it. Also I bet she can sense your unease."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Uh?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Babies have this sixth sense when it comes to the emotions of those around them. Specially mother's... Or well, in this case, you. So if she senses you're frustrated, she'll get more distressed."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Oh" was all he could say.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"Where is she now?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>"She's right..." He looked down at the bundle he had been holding and rocking only to realize it was a bunch of dirty clothes.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Where was she? Had he lost his daughter after 5 hours? <i>Fuck! Fucking idiot! <i></i></i></i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>For a moment, he forgot where he had put her and a million terrifying thoughts flashed on his head.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>She wasn't crying at the moment.<br/>
<i>And that was good.<i><br/>
<i>Right? <i><br/>
Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was the worst thing.<br/>
<i>Maybe one of the pillows on the sofa has fallen over her and suffocated her.<i><br/>
<i>Or maybe I've mistaken her for a dirty bundle of clothes, put her in the laundry and...<i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>"Rowan?" His mother's voice interrupted his train of thought, but also helped recover his clarity.</i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>"She's asleep on the bed." He suddenly remembered, peering at his bedroom to check he was right. He was. She was asleep, right in the middle of the mattress, exactly where he had placed her 10 minutes earlier.</i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>"Then take this chance and sleep. You're good at sleeping."</i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>It was definitely a good idea. So he hung up and tiptoed to the bedroom. He reached the bed and froze, trying to think of a way of climbing in without startling her awake.</i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>Maybe the matress sinking at his weight woke her up. And if he got past that, perhaps if he dared to move or rolled in his sleep, he'd wake her up... Or worst; he had heard about the hundreds of kids that died overnight suffocated by their parents.</i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>No. He decided he couldn't sleep with her.<br/>
So he got the bunch of dirty clothes and laid on the floor besides the bed, using the bundle as a pillow. He fell right off to sleep.</i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
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                        <i>He woke up four hours later, and the room was still silent. </i>
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                          <i>Shouldn't she need something? Shouldn't she have woken me up?<i></i></i>
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                            <i>Once again, a feeling of fear invaded him as he jumped to his feet, and put a small mirror in front of her nose to make sure she was still breathing.<br/>
She was.<br/>
He sighed with relief and pecked her forehead before tiptoeing out.</i>
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                            <i>He decided to make a sandwich or something, cause his stomach was roaring. Halfway through eating it, he ran his eyes through the parenting book he had left opened on the counter:</i>
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                            <i>If your baby sleeps 4 straight hours or more wake them up for a feed; otherwise they could become dihydrated...<br/>
<i>Fuck. She's been dozing for 4 hours and 20 minutes.<i></i></i></i>
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                                <i>So he hurried into the bedroom, and leaned over the tiny bundle, a smile escaping his lips. She did know how to sleep after all. And she looked like an angel. So peaceful. Calm. It almost hurt him to disturb her. But he had to.</i>
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                                <i>"Hey lil'raisin. C'mon, it's snack time" he said, gently lifting her up. "Hey, lovie. Wake up" he knew one thing he shouldn't do under any circumstances: shake her. Or make harsh movements. As that would lead to Major Danger #2:<br/>
Shaken Baby Syndrome. And that was under his control.</i>
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                                <i>So he blew on her cheek instead and got her to open her eyes "Hey, Sleeping Gorgeous" he greeted, holding her up so they were face to face.</i>
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                                <i>She looked up at him, directly into his eyes and something inside him melted.  </i>
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                                <i>Perhaps she had finally settled. Maybe now they were both fresh and rested she'd go easy on him. He could do this.</i>
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                                <i>But then her face scrunched up and she whined.</i>
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                                <i>"Oh no, no, no, baby, what is it? Don't cry. Don't cry. C'mon." Then he felt a warm liquid on his hand. "Okay, okay, message received. Let's do this" </i>
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                                <i>He got a towel and unswaddled her, hoping he'd be able to remember how it was done afterwards and praying for it only being number one. It was, but he hadn't folded the nappy correctly and it had leaked all over the onesie, the blanket and... His duvet.  Goddamn it. </i>
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                                <i>He sighed. If he kept calm, she'd sense it. "Okay, me darl'. Shh. Hold on a second.  Where... Where've I left the nappies? Where?" He looked around the room but no sight of the pack. Shit. Last time he had changed her in the living room? So it had to be there. "Okay, hang on a minute sweets. I'll be right back" he ran out to get the pack, as the wailing got louder.<br/>
"Alright. Alright. I've got it, I've got it. I'm here. Hush" he managed to do it surprisingly fast and without new incidents. "Alright, alright. Almost done. C'mere." He lifted her up, checking the nappy was properly sealed this time, and went to the kitchen area where he had left the last clean onesie.</i>
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                                <i>On his way, he found the pinky he had been looking for earlier as well. "Hey look at this. Here it was." He washed it with water and put it in her open mouth. She began to suck instinctively, calming down.</i>
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                                  <i>Thank. Fucking. Goodness.<i></i></i>
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                                    <i>He sighed in relief.<br/>
<i>I can do this.<i><br/>
He laid her down in the kitchen counter, so he could wash his hands, throw his wee stained t-shirt to the washer and unfold the onesie. She squirmed a little, but kept quiet.</i></i></i>
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                                        <i>"Alright, let's put this on you. Please don't squirm too much, darling. I don't want to hurt you." he pleaded.</i>
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                                        <i>"Okay, it's all done!" he announced 10 minutes later, when he finally managed to button up all the miniscule buttons on the onesie. "What's next? Oh yes, bottle. Alright. Coming right up."</i>
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                                        <i>Just when he had put the bottle to warm up, she lost her patience, spit the pinky, and began fussing. "Hey, lovie, here," he put it back, but she spit again. "You ain't buying it, are you? You're hungry, and the pinky isn't fooling you." He chuckled "Clever girl. Alright, it's almost done so don't worry, okay? It's almost there" he took her back into his arms, and paced around until the microwave beeped. </i>
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                                        <i>He made a mental note to never again waking her up before the bottle was done.<br/>
<i>Never again.<i></i></i></i>
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                                            <i>"Okay Princess. Here's your cocktail, made with love." he announced, as he carried her to the couch and sat down, propping her up and watching as she immediately sucked into the nipple, face relaxing instantly.<br/>
"Yea, you were hungry right? That's what happens when you sleep through lunch time. I hope you've learned your lesson, and that next time, you let me know alright?" He grinned, as a hand closed around his hair.<br/>
But she suddenly pulled away from the nipple and began to  fuss again, halfway through the bottle. "What? That's all? You're done? So much impatience for half a bottle? No, you've gotta keep going. C'mon." he offered the nipple, and she rejected it, hand pulling his hair<br/>
"Ow! Ow! Pips, no honey. Let go. C'mon. C'mon dear, let go." he set the bottle aside and used his free hand to untangle hers from his hair. She cried louder. <i>Fuck<i> "Hey, okay, okay, you can pull my hair off if you keep quiet. Uh? Deal?" He got more cries in response. His face fell.<br/>
"But you never did this in hospital. You didn't give Daddy hell like this. Why now? Why do you do this when I'm all alone? Am I such a bad dad? I mean I'm following every step. I'm doing my best. Please give me a break." He pleaded, changing her to an upright position, trying to hear his own thoughts over the piercing squalling right next to his ear.</i></i></i>
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                                                  <i>I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? I'm doing everything just like I've been taught in hospital.<i></i></i>
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                                                    <i>Well except maybe...</i>
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                                                    <i>He laid her on the couch "Alright, shhh. Let's try this one" he said, unbuttoning her onesie again and bringing her back to his bare chest. She instinctively snuggled up, and quieted within seconds at the contact of both their skins.<br/>
And he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. "So you just wanted this? Well you should've said so earlier." He did both, out of amusement and relief. Fuck he had cried more these past 7 hours than in the entire last decade. It was ridiculous, really. That someone so little could have such a big effect on him.<br/>
"So, where were we hon?" He offered the bottle and this time she did latch, body glued to his, and grey piercing eyes looking right through him, as if she was staring at his soul, as if she was reminding him why he was doing all this. And, just like that, he was overcome with love towards that prune sized small person. As if he was under a spell, all the worries that had crowed him until that moment, just disappeared. At least for a little while.<br/>
<i>I can do this. I'm gonna do this. For you. Because those eyes are worth the trouble. Because I fucking love you.<i></i></i></i>
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                                                        <i>He didn't detach her from his chest for the rest of the day, as that seemed to keep her at peace and he didn't mind it. Rather enjoyed it.<br/>
So he changed his peed sheets and threw the nappy away, made himself some coffee and broke the mug in the process, as he struggled to do the whole thing with one hand. Then he had to pick it up and cut himself off with one of the shattered pieces.  However, he didn't mind: it was worth it as long as she remained undisturbed.</i>
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                                                        <i>"Are you two better?" Mom asked when she called in the evening.</i>
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                                                        <i>"Yes, yes. We're... We're alright. Got the ultimate trick. I think we came to an understanding."</i>
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                                                        <i>"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Where is she, by the way?"</i>
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                                                        <i>"Right here." he pressed his lips on the top of her head, rested on his shoulder.<br/>
"Has she eaten properly?'<br/>
"Aye. Then spat some of it on me and... Yea. I think she's good." she had finished both bottles fairly quickly.<br/>
"And you? How are you eating?"<br/>
"Managed to eat half a sandwich. So not too bad."<br/>
"Finish it."<br/>
"I'm fine, mother."<br/>
"Row by neglecting yourself you're putting her in danger too. So eat properly and stay sane for the sake of you both, okay?"<br/>
He sighed. "Alright. I'll finish the stupid sandwich."<br/>
"And eat some food or whatever. Vitamins."<br/>
"Shit, this is like being 10 again."<br/>
They hung up and Row did as told, in spite of himself. Mom had a point.</i>
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                                                        <i>So he finished the sandwich and grabbed an apple, eating it in bites, chewing it slowly and as silently as possible so he wouldn't disturb his daughter.</i>
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                                                        <i>Damn it was cold. He'd have to turn the heat on, which he never did cause the bill afterwards was terrifying. But hell, both of them were half naked in February. And he had already spent a fortune on that prune sized person, might as well keep her alive and warm.</i>
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                                                        <i>Then he laid down with her cuddled on his bare chest as she breathed in uneven, scary patterns, which Callie had told him were normal.<br/>
And soon, he found they were breathing in sync, every breath he took was three of hers. Or 5. Or none.<br/>
<i>But it's normal,<i> he reminded himself. <i>Her breathing system has yet to develop. She's fine.<i><br/>
He was exhausted, but completely wakeful at the same time, cause he was hypnotized by the sight of his little sleeping prune. </i></i></i></i></i>
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                                                            <i>Like he would be countless nights in the future.<br/>
Because there was no better remedy for panic, no better way to put his thoughts in order and make him feel the strongest, happiest man on Earth than the sight of his daughter sleeping.</i>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Of Unicorns and Fairies.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Piper meets the band, and so, the first of many adventures begins.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heya. So alittle reminder as always cause I know it can be messy:<br/>Row: Rog<br/>Terry: Brian<br/>Rick: John<br/>Len: Freddie.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>None of the boys would ever forget the first time they met their niece.<br/>
It was four days after Row and Piper's first day at home. All he seemed to do was feed, being puked on, change, being peed/ pooped on, not sleep, survive on coffee, walk around, feed, being puked on... Oh, and cry. Sometimes it was just impossible not to join her.<br/>
Besides, if she didn't decide to grow out of the skin to skin thing and found another way to content herself soon, Row was going to catch some serious cold.<br/>
That's why he was happy to get a call from the boys, that gave him a reason to walk out of the feed-puke-change cycle for a while. Also he was glad to speak with somebody without cooing.<br/>
All of that said, the prospect of leaving the house for the first time with Piper was scary.<br/>
"C'mon Row, we gotta knock the last demo out before we can send the album" Terry insisted, when he said he'd 'think abut it'.<br/>
"And we wanna meet her!" Len's voice chimed in from the background.<br/>
"You do?" He replied above her cries as he laid her on her tummy so she rested across his forearm. "Shhhhh."<br/>
"Of course!" Terry reassured. "She's our niece!"<br/>
"I don't know man..." He trailed off,  looking down at his kid, who screamed for no apparent reason, making him feel a total useless man for the third time that morning. "She isn't feeling well. And honestly I'm feeling like a piece of  shit too. Haven't slept in 5 days" he then softened his tone looking down at the little girl as he swayed her side to side in a vain attempt to calm the two of them down. "Hush Princess. You're alright."<br/>
"C'mon. Don't make us go there. We expect you there at 3..."<br/>
"3 Is tummy time." He said automatically.<br/>
"Tummy time? What the hell??" Terry had the same reaction he had when reading about it. It did sound ridiculous if you didn't know what it was about.<br/>
"Yes it's... Lay her on her stomach so she'll eventually learn to hold her head and stuff. It's very important."<br/>
He tried to remember the long list of benefits he had read countless times in the books, but his brain told him to piss off.<br/>
"And how long does that take you?" The guitarist sighed.<br/>
"Oh just a couple minutes but she can get a bit cranky and that's like... I don't know, the time to get her settled down is different each time and... Right after that it's her feed, and I wanna do that here just in case she gets sick on me which is apparently like her own little Olympic sport so then I'll have to bathe her and get her ready. And then... Look, 4-4:15 sounds alright? She'll be asleep by then and I'll have time for one song."<br/>
"Ufff..  I'm exhausted just from hearing you pal." Terry chuckled. "Okay, come at 4. We'll get our parts recorded so you do yours when you get there. So our silly mistakes won't ruin your tempo" he mocked.<br/>
"Yea, yes whatever." Row chuckled too, feeling the nappy to see if that was the problem.<br/>
"But if you don't like our arrangement, you can fuck yourself okay?" The curly haired guitarist warned.<br/>
"What-fucking-ever mate." He replied, taking a big breath to calm himself down. The nappy wasn’t dirty, and he was running out of goddamn ideas.<br/>
"Rick asks if You still remember to play." Terry laughed.<br/>
Row didn't dignify that with a reply and simply hung up to focus on his daughter. She had to be fine! "Hey baby, what's wrong? C'mon," he pleaded "I've just fed you, and you can't be dirty yet. So what's the matter, hon? Give me a clue and I swear I'll figure it out but I need your help darl'." He began to pace around the small apartment, and placed his hand on her back for support.<br/>
He adored her, really, but for someone who couldn't even roll on herself, or anything at all by herself, she kept him on his toes and worn out.<br/>
"Come on, come... Oww." Just as requested, Piper replied to his questions by puking all over him. Fuck. He always forgot to burp her after the feeds! He just couldn't remember it when he had to. And the Prune always made him pay the price. He sighed, giving in to the cycle again.<br/>
Thankfully, just as Row had predicted, by 4 Piper had settled into sleep, after being changed, fed, and everything. She was all ready to go. And so was Row. Or so he thought.<br/>
Had he grabbed enough formula? What if he lost a pinky? Better get them all. It was February, maybe she'd get cold so he grabbed a few more blankets. And a parenting book just in case something new happened he didn't know how to handle. Oh and a change of clothes, and half a packet of nappies. And some toys so she wouldn't get bored. Okay, now they were ready to... Oh fuck, where had he left the car keys?!<br/>
To put a long story short, he basically ended up stuffing three extra bags into the car "just in case" but almost forgot Piper inside.</p><p>Meanwhile, in the studio….<br/>
"He's late." Len pointed out when the clock ticked 5 and their drummer still hadn't shown up. That was usually Len, who was often late and even tho Row came close second, it was unlike him to take this long.<br/>
Then again, Row was pretty much unlike himself lately.<br/>
"Do you think they're fine?"<br/>
"Sure. Maybe he's just fallen asleep." Rick reassured.<br/>
"Maybe he's had to go back cause he's forgotten the baby." Len giggled. That would be something Row was totally capable of.<br/>
As if on cue, the door opened, and Row entered with a bag one hand Piper's car seat on the other. His hair couldn't be messier if he tried, and... Was that vomit on his shoulder? And in his shirt? Or was that poo?</p><p>"This is she then?"<br/>
"The one and only." Row beamed proudly as he set the carseat where they could all have a look at his newborn daughter.<br/>
"She's... " Terry raised an eyebrow, not really sure of what to say. "Um... what's the regular comment?"<br/>
"Oh you can say it. She's a prune." Row admitted, while adjusting the green blanket on her for the 10th time since they had left home. She was wearing 5 layers plus the blanket, and honestly looked so cozy Row was proud of himself; if he managed to end this first outing without the prune catching a cold, he'd consider this a success.<br/>
They nodded in agreement. She was a wrinkly thing for sure.<br/>
"And this is nothing compared to how she looked on her birthday." Row continued. "But she's a beautiful prune. My lil' raisin." He smiled softly at her before glaring menacingly at his band mates. "And I will punch the shit out of whoever disagrees."<br/>
The other three laughed nervously, instinctively backing up a little. They knew Rowan Queen wasn't one to joke about punching.<br/>
"She's one cute prune." Rick agreed a smile from ear to ear, going to hug his friend, soon joined by the other two.<br/>
"Em, what's that smell?" Len said, as they all scrunched their noses and looked down at the carseat.<br/>
"I don't smell anything."<br/>
"Well, pal... She must've killed your nasal nerves or something cause... Damn!" Terry said.<br/>
"But she can't... I mean she's just gone." Row leaned over to sniff around his daughter sides so he wouldn't disturb her. "Nope. Not her."<br/>
Len leaned over him and inhaled. "When was the last time you took a shower, man?"<br/>
The thoughtful expression on their friend's face was all the answer they needed.<br/>
"It's you." they all said at once.<br/>
"Aw, fuck ,really tho?" Row smelt his armpit. "I still don't smell anything."<br/>
"Brain defense mechanism." Terry pointed out. "Oh wait you missed that biology class cause you were hungover again."<br/>
"Shut up, Terry. I'm hella sleep deprived you don't want to mess with me."<br/>
The others chuckled. He was the embodiment of exhaustion, but something had changed. He looked... Happier somehow. And still capable of punching someone in the face if tempted.<br/>
"So, let's begin." Row clapped his hands together, anxious to finally get back behind the drums.<br/>
"Wait, you just gonna leave her here?" Len asked, nodding towards the carseat.<br/>
"Yes. I can see her just fine from my spot. C'mon." He leaned over to kiss her forehead and entered the booth.<br/>
"Ain't getting in there with you, stinky dumpster." Rick scrunched up his nose.<br/>
"You're the ones who wanted me to be in the studio." Row crossed the door and sat on his beloved stool. Damn it felt good to be back.<br/>
He had been so busy with Pips he hadn't really thought about drums, but now he realized how much he needed this.<br/>
"Where do we begin?"<br/>
"Sandstorm. Remember how it goes?" Terry smirked.<br/>
"Yes you just... Get the stick, hit the snares..." Rick joked.<br/>
"Don't forget the metal yellow Chinese hats. They're cymbals."  Len chimed in too, mischievous smile on his face.<br/>
"And that pedal you have there? That's a bass drum, very important. Push it with your foot." Terry finished.<br/>
He rolled his eyes, but played along, after letting his eyes flick to Pips. "How? Like this?" He played badly on purpose.<br/>
"Yes nearly there dear. Just one last thing, there's a thing called rhythm, y'know? Coordination and tempo… y’know, that stuff that comes with decent drumming? Try now?" Len added.<br/>
He chuckled. He had actually missed fooling around with his mates. His eyes flicked again to Pip, who stirred slightly. "Okay enough bullshit. Let's get started."</p><p>They did it in one take as he didn't lose tempo at all. Infact he was somewhat proud of himself for still having the skill on the kit. (Because, it had been less than two weeks since he had last sat on the stool, but it felt like years.) He also found his eyes flicking to his Piper every ten seconds or so, feeling the compulsive need to make sure he was fine.</p><p>Of course she was. She was sleeping in the car seat, nothing was gonna happen.</p><p>Timing was perfect. Just as the song was ending, he saw her begin to squirm in her car seat.<br/>
He finished the final bit with his eyes nailed on her, even sped up the tempo unconsciously, anxious to finish so he could get to her.<br/>
The other members noticed, of course, but didn't say anything when following his gaze towards the squirming infant and figuring out. They'd re-do the last bit later. That could wait. But watching Rowan Queen interact with a baby -not any baby, but HIS own baby- was something as unimaginable for them at that point as seeing a fairy riding a flying yellow unicorn.</p><p>They didn't know what to expect.</p><p>"Hello sweetheart." He cooed, exiting the soundproofed glass to the table where her carseat sat and lifting her small squirming body to his sweaty chest. "Hey my love. Hey. Hush. Shush.  What is it? What's the matter darling?" He cooed, kissing her forehead. She was unusually warm. "Hey, you're feeling hot baby? Hmm? Well let me take care of that." </p><p>He lowered her to the couch and unswaddled her before taking another layer out. Maybe he had overdressed her. It was the first time they were properly out and he didn't know what to expect, so he decided to stuff her into 5 layers, before bundling her up. Okay now he knew that was overdoing it. "There we are lovie. C'mere." He brought her back to his chest, a smile escaping his lips when he felt the gentle tug of her small hand wrapping around his hair.</p><p> "Shhhhh. It's alright. It's okay baby." He began to pace rhythmically around the room for a few minutes, until she calmed down. "There you are, you just wanted Daddy huh? Well I missed you too lil prune." He spoke, oblivious to everything else including the three pairs of eyes following them around as if he was a unicorn holding a fairy.</p><p>Damn he was like a completely different person.</p><p>"I didn't know he was so good with kids." Terry mumbled, all his doubts and worries clearing, if only a bit, at the look in his friends eyes.</p><p>Row had always looked like he would become the typical bachelor with no ties and no commitment. Now he just looked like someone who was desperately in love.</p><p>"Paternal instinct, gentleman." Rick announced. "But I'm surprised he has one, tho." He added, after a moment of consideration.</p><p>The three of them had made a bet on whether the drummer would knock someone up, and apparently he and Terry had won Len. Rick had been the closest: he said he'd do it before finishing high school.</p><p>But none of them had gone beyond that. Nobody was crazy enough to ever see this outcome happening. However, from that first conversation on the phone, something in his brother's voice when he told them about his ‘new Lil’Raisin’ sounded just right to him. And the way he now paced the room clutching the small bundle to him as if she was a treasure, just proved his point even more.</p><p>"Daddy..." was all Len managed to mouth out of the hundreds of thoughts flashing on his brain. He was, to put it simple, speechless, but we'll get to that later.</p><p>"You're gonna love this place when you grow up, yes you will." Row's voice continued, as he made his way back to the table. "And we will teach you to play Everything. And I bet you will rock on drums, just like Daddy..." His heart jumped in his chest at the concept of teaching his Prune how to play.</p><p>"Yes, he's called himself Daddy without any... Sexual subtext." Terry commented back to Len.<br/>
Oh Len's subtext was very much so.</p><p>"Little Row finally grown!" Rick grinned, startling the drummer, who jolted out his bubble and held his daughter close.<br/>
"What?!" He hissed, offering his index to the babe.<br/>
"Nothing, just..." Terry began.<br/>
"...Commenting the situation." Rick grinned.<br/>
"Hmm" Was all Len could hum, still transfixed in his trance.<br/>
His friends just waved it off. This had happened before, once backstage -well, if the Campus' canteen restroom counted as backstage-, while they got ready. He was fine after a while.</p><p>"Is she okay?" Rick nodded towards the infant, who hadn't quite settled down yet.<br/>
"Oh, yes. Just... Overheated. It's a new feeling to her, cause our home isn't exactly a warmest place, is It?" The new dad changed her to an upright position on his shoulder so he could rub comforting circles on her back. "No it's not, so we have to sleep all bundled up." He looked up at his friends "Which reminds me I need help with the crib. I don't have time to do it alone and I'm afraid to end up crushing her one night."</p><p>Well, scared is not the word. Rather ‘Terrified to the point sometimes he only felt it safe to sleep on the floor’.</p><p>"Sure mate. We can help you out while you take a well deserved and needed shower." Terry suggested.<br/>
"Sounds like a plan."</p><p>Meanwhile Rick approached from behind Row to get a good look at her. She was still wrinkly, but her eyes were already captivating and Rick knew she would use them against all of them in no time. Of course it was too soon to make out who she looked like, let alone start trying to guess who the mother was. And... Wait, that on her forehead...  "Is she supposed to have acne already?"<br/>
"Yep. I freaked out too when I saw it was, but it'll disappear in a bit." Row said "Wanna hold her?"<br/>
"Woah, you sharing your girls?"<br/>
"Gotta look for her pinky anyway."<br/>
Rick grinned and held his arms out.<br/>
"Know how it goes?" Row questioned, without moving one muscle.<br/>
"I'm studying pediatric psychology." Rick said matter of factly.<br/>
"That you're studying kids don't mean you actually know what to do with them."<br/>
"You didn't even studied kids -or anything at all- and you're fine. I got a bonus."<br/>
"If you fucking drop or hurt her man..." Row warned, suddenly insecure about letting his child go.<br/>
"Just give her over, damn." Rick urged.<br/>
Row kissed her forehead and passed her to Rick so he had her nestled in his arms.</p><p> "All good?" Row asked. It felt weird, after being just the two of them since they had been discharged, to see her in someone else's arms. Which was ridiculous cause he was only turn around for two minutes to look for whatever pinky that hadn't decided to hide away.</p><p>"Perfect. Stop being a moron and do what you have to do." Rick looked down at his niece "Hello darling Piper. I know your brain is still hardly developed at this point and you're not gonna remember any of this but I'm your uncle Rick and I already love you very much." And he did. He knew he'd do anything for that new little person.</p><p>"Sappy." Len grinned, back to being his witty self again.</p><p>"You cried watching Titanic. Your argument is invalid." Rick replied, eyes not leaving the tiny girl, who stared back at him.</p><p>"Everyone does, always."</p><p>"It was the 10th time you watched it!"</p><p>"And I don't trust anyone who doesn't cry every time Jack..." He chose not to say it, or he'd break down just from recalling it.</p><p>"He's a silly one, that Len, isn't he?" Rick cooed down at Piper, who kept looking at him with those round grey eyes, and he had a vision, or a prediction, that those eyes would make him buy her a pony in a few years time.</p><p>"I'll just never understand why people speak with that high pitched voice at kids. It's ridiculous" Terry rolled his brown eyes. He was an only child, and the youngest cousin of his family so he hadn't really got to treat with kids too often.</p><p>"Well, out of all of us You're the one  who likes Oper, so cut it." Rowan arrived with the purple pinky and carefully put it in her mouth.</p><p> "You gonna go back to sleep or you're done?" He asked with the highest note on his register, just to piss Terry off. "We should probably get going to my place so I can shower while she's happy."</p><p>"Why the hurry?"<br/>
"Cause it's only matter of time before she needs something and I'm not letting you do it. Nor have the time to teach you how to change a nappy or make a bottle" he carefully took her from Rick and walked back to the carseat, placing her inside and slinging the bag on his shoulder.<br/>
"And for the record, you are the the one soprano here, Mr.Galileo." Terry said.<br/>
Row pretended not to hear him, already crossing the door.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow."<br/>
"Unbelievable."<br/>
"No way."</p><p>That was the general reaction to the status of Row’s appartement, now full of empty/ half full bottles of formula instead of booze, parenting books instead of Playboy magazine and Forbes... And the smell of powder instead of Marlboro.</p><p>Just Wow.</p><p>"Holy damn Row." Len said.</p><p>"What?" He placed the carseat on the kitchen table, and stared at his daughter -who had fallen back asleep with the car's movement- while debating on whether picking her up or not.</p><p>"You live in a... This..." He didn't have a right expression to describe what his apartment had turned into</p><p>"Is this the wrong house?" Joked Terry, just as astounded as the other two.</p><p>"Nope." He settled on taking her out and putting her on his bed while he showered.</p><p>"You live in a bloody nursery!" Len finally said.</p><p>He chuckled, far from being offended. "Just haven't had time to organize. Tho I've already assumed she's gonna take a shitload of room. But that's okay." He cooed, gently swaying out of reflex even though she was asleep and didn't notice.</p><p>"You've never been good at sharing..." Terry started, but Row wasn't going to have them pointing out what they thought he could or couldn't do. He had enough with Mom.</p><p>"What is this? A kindergarten lecture?" He interrupted, rather harshly.</p><p>"A kindergarten for sure..." Len still couldn't believe his eyes. He hardly recognized the place. Or Row, for that matter.</p><p>"Well shut up and check out the crib." Row said, walking to his nedroom</p><p>"Where has she been sleeping?" Rick questioned as they followed.</p><p>"With me. Well, if we can call it sleep."</p><p>After 4 days on their own, Row had got to nearly master the art of swaddling, or burrito Rollin as he liked to call it, and while he knew the likelihood of waking her up in the process was high, he knew it was a risk worth taking. Then again it had taken him forever to get her settled and... What was the worst thing that could happen?<br/>
"I'm gonna leave her here. Try not to sit on the mattress cause that may disturb her."</p><p>"Can we talk?" Len whispered.</p><p>"Yes, and you don't have to whisper. Talk normally. But don't fight. And just... Keep an eye on her, you know?" He said, before disappearing into the bathroom next room.</p><p>The three men nodded, and turned to the unassembled wooden crib leaning by the wall.<br/>
It was actually big for a newborn.</p><p>"Why didn't you get a smaller one?"</p><p>"Cause she'll eventually grow out of it and that will mean having to buy another one."</p><p>"Clever."</p><p>"Hopefully this one will make it through the next two years or so."</p><p>“Oh, planning ahead and all. Are you sure you ain’t an impostor?”</p><p>“I can give you a black eye if that proves it, Terry.”</p><p>"Alright. On with it." Terry resolved, turning to the unassembled crib.</p><p> </p><p>Only 5 minutes into it, Terry noticed the kid's arms moving, as if she was having spasms.</p><p>"Errr... Should we tell Row about it?" He asked his flatmates.<br/>
Row also heard it, tho, and stopped the shower in panic. "Tell me what?! What's going on? Is she okay?"</p><p>"Is it normal for her not to stay still?"</p><p>"Like her limbs are all over the place?"</p><p>"Oh, yea. Fuck you goddamn scared me men!"</p><p>"Well she was scaring us!"</p><p>"It's normal. It's..." He didn't feel like infodumping an encyclopedic speech about reflexes and stuff. He didn't wanna be one of those parents. He sighed in relief and ran the shower again. "She's okay. Don't worry."</p><p>He closed his eyes and enjoyed the warm, refreshing sensation of the water falling over him. And the relaxing sound it made. Damn, it was good to have a moment of peace without having to worry about his kid being left alone, or feeling guilty that she was next room, or worrying about her waking up with him still in the shower.<br/>
Fuck yea, he could've fallen asleep in the act. And he probably did.</p><p> </p><p>Terry, Rick, and Len were pretty intelligent people. Terry was a honour student, Rick would have also been if he hadn't caught that flu during the last term of High School, and Len... Maybe he wasn't the most focused and self disciplined student in the room, but he was creative and witty in his own way.<br/>
However, 20 minutes after starting with the crib, they still hadn't figured out one single thing.</p><p>"The bloody instructions are in Korean, Chinese or whatever!" Len complained.<br/>
"Yea, we've noticed!" Terry replied, through gritted teeth.<br/>
"Why the actual fuck did Row buy this shit?!"<br/>
"It was the cheapest one, for sure." Rick guessed, pawing around in search of the nail that had just fallen.<br/>
"Len, that screw doesn't go there!" Terry said<br/>
"Well it didn't fit anywhere else, so I'm just gonna try in every spot until the goddamn thing gets in!"<br/>
"Goddamn it…!" The guitarist shook his head, running his eyes through the manual one more time, in hopes that he'd come up with something. But no.<br/>
"It can't be so fucking hard!" Len grunted in frustration.<br/>
"Guys, I think we're losing perspective here.  We should just calm down and~"</p><p>Rick was interrupted when a cry broke the air, just as Row was almost done soaping his hair.<br/>
"I'll get her. You guys figure it out!" Len announced, anxious to get away the bloody crib.<br/>
"Ha. You've never been this near a baby before. I'll do it" Rick said, also standing up.<br/>
"You've already held her earlier. It's my turn." Terry spoke, jumping on his feet.<br/>
"Precisely because she's already met me...".<br/>
"Oh, bullshit! You just wanna leave us here with the fucking crib!"<br/>
"Watch your mouth, Len! There's a kid..."<br/>
"Can  any of you just fucking get my daughter?" Row's voice called from the bathroom.<br/>
Rick was the fastest, and he lifted the squirming infant up with one swift movement. "Hey darling."<br/>
She kept crying, and squirming all over the place.<br/>
"You got her?" Row asked.<br/>
"Yep. What should I do?"<br/>
"Just hold her until I get out. I'm almost done."<br/>
"Okay." He manoeuvered the infant back  in the position he had her earlier, so he wouldn't drop her.<br/>
"Just careful, don't move her about too much. I almost drop her tonight when I was making a coffee. Poor Prune's got enough frights."<br/>
His friends chuckled. Row will be Row. Always clumsy.<br/>
"Hey, where's the hammer?" Len asked Terry .<br/>
"Why would you want a bloody hammer now?"<br/>
"Cause I can't roll the goddamn screw in, so I'm gonna try smashing the little fucker in!"<br/>
"You're gonna break it like that!"<br/>
"Well you got better idea? Huh? I didn't think so, so give it here!" Len demanded, snatching the tool from Terry.<br/>
Meanwhile, Rick was busy trying to entertain the babe until her dad  came. Then he noticed some red scratches on her already red face, his expression changing into concern "Row" he called over the cries and the shouting between Terry and Len.<br/>
"Yes?" He answered, blinking the urge to sleep away.<br/>
"Something's wrong..."<br/>
"I've told you, it's normal that she moves that much. Just hold on to her..."<br/>
"No, Row, These cuts..."<br/>
"What cuts?!" That was all Row needed to snap out the drowsiness. The shower stopped, and he jumped out the shower.</p><p>Len almost drops the hammer at T's foot at the sight of soaking wet naked Row.<br/>
<i>He. Was. Hot.<i><br/>
<i>A fucking deity.<i><br/>
<i>Michelangelo's David.<i></i></i></i></i></i></i></p><p>
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            <i>But of course Row was oblivious to it. Not to the fact that he was hot, that he knew, and had taken advantage of it. Take Piper for evidence.<br/>
But what he or the other two band members ignored was that for Len, Row was... Everything. And he'd be lying if he didn't say he had actually drawn the Michelangelo's David with Row's gorgeous face instead.</i>
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            <i>He'd be lying if he said the sight of his beloved with a baby hadn't made his heart melt and twist at once, and set a storm of butterflies fluttering on his whole body.<br/>
He'd be lying if he denied he loved him. That his heart had skipped a beat the first time he had seen his face, back when they were 7.<br/>
He'd be lying if he denied it, yea. But he'd lie straight away, nonetheless. He wasn't ready. He doubted he'd ever be.</i>
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            <i>Meanwhile, a few feet away, the concerned dad leaned over to take a look at his baby's face. It did have scratches. Bleeding scratches. But how?<br/>
"Oh God." He said "But I... They weren't there 20 minutes ago, were they?"<br/>
"No, not at the studio. She was fine." Rick answered, also examining the wounds. "What do we do?"</i>
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</p><p>.......To be continued......</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to whoever's stuck with me so long. Please if you have any remarks, ideas, or such, let me know.</p>
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